Is it weird to say that at 27 I don't know much about myself, if anything at all? That to say I've been living just to breathe for so long that I don't really feel much at all. That I have no friends, no fixed personality? Just me, floating day to day, never really making the people around me happy or myself. I've always given in to what other people want, given the best of myself to literally everyone else that I feel I just wait for someone, anyone, to tell me the next move to make. How or what to feel. I literally let everyone use me and don't stand up for myself at all, never have. Now, I feel like I have nothing to talk about at all. I'm completely silent and unresponsive in just about every social settung imaginable. I have a hard time talking about anything that matters. I just am and that drives me fucking insane. I'm going out of my mind just living in it by myself. My jokes go over people's heads and I get told I'm weird all the time. I can't handle not being able to relate to anyone.
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of course
& I suspect,
there's a lot more like us
than the other way around