suntlacrimae

Knee update: Well, it seems that my previous doctors were jackasses. When I gave the ever-so-exciting history of my knee to my doctor, she was horrified that more hadn't been done. Short version of history--I have a condition where my kneecap does not follow its usual track but, instead, kinda goes around it and shreds mucho cartilage during the process. Common problem in female athletes. I happened to pick sports that were incredibly conducive to developing the problem--sprints, long jump, triple jump, rowing, etc. Apparently, coaches are supposed to be on the look-out for this problem and at least one of the doctors I saw should have benched me and/or at least done Xrays to see how much wear and tear was happening. They didn't. Moral of the story--if you're a university athlete, DON'T trust university trainers . . . they're more concerned with the team doing well than with your personal health. So, now I have 12 appointments with a physical therapist, two appointments with an orthopaedic surgeon, and one more with my GP in the next three weeks. I see my insurance company getting pissy in the near future, especially since surgery is a possibility. That's okay, though. I'd give *anything* to be able to run, climb mountains and cliffs, and row again. Right now, I'm only allowed to walk on level ground. It kills me. My former athletic prowess is the only reason I survived this long with some semblance of self esteem. Athletic accomplishments were the only ones that my family and peers could recognize and value. Being a good reader of poetry, unconventional-looking, and confused about my sexuality weren't things conducive to approval. Sports gave me an outlet for all the anger and frustration I felt growing up. I don't need that release as much now (i.e. my life doesn't depend on it), but it became such a huge part of my identity that I feel incomplete without it.

In other news, my class is going well. My students are suddenly coming alive and wanting to talk about and respond to the stuff I assigned. Thank God!

Now, more happy news: Oregon lifted the injunction against domestic partnerships (a measure passed allowing them, but some assholes petitioned to put it on hold . . . turned out that many of the signatures on that petition weren't valid. Gay relationships are wrong but cheating isn't??). Supa Nova and I are tentatively planning to become official domestic partners* in March. I'm debating whether or not I feel morally obligated to come out to my parents. Tough call. But that's a bitch-and-moan for another time.

*Offer not good in any state except Oregon and especially not in the vast majority of states, which don't have similar laws. Federal government does not recognize such partnerships. Offer thus null and void outside Oregon, rendering this contract useless when we move to wherever I find a job in a couple of years.