I'm still curious as to what you were refering to in one of your last posts. It really mirriored some feelings that I've had in the past as well.
See, I'm a musician. At age 20 I'm playing in the graduate student group at UNM, which has a fine music department, and I'm playing some of the top literature. Here's the catch: I've never really once sat down and practiced. I mean, sure, I've sat down and learned a pice now and then, but on a large scale I do very little work. I look at a lot of my fellow clarinet players who work there asses of for less of a pay-off than I get naturally, and I feel guilty, because they want it so much more than me, yet I get it for a fraction of the work and time.
I'm no genius here, just talented I guess. It makes whatever I've achieved on the clarinet not mean as much. I basically don't care. It depresses me, because at the end of the day, everything music related I've done that day is hollow. My continued success at the cost of no effort is the only thing still keeping me in music, and that motive is fading fast.
There, now your turn. Give me the low down.
_______________________________________
Word up on that Mother Ship image. Why's she vomiting? Shit, what a waste!
Me too, I am contemplating 24 hours a day. I think it is that whole being a super genius thing, which I hate most the time. Although it is good when everyone comes to you for various trivia. Sometimes I sleep for ten to twelve hours and still wake up tired because I was contemplating something as I went to sleep and my brain just kept going after I was asleep. When I was a kid I use to dream about monsters and meaningless dreams about exotic adventures, but now I dream about politics, physics, and the state of modern man.
I guess to would be good to be able to only think when you wanted, but then I would likely be stupid, womanizing drug addict. I would choose never think seriously and drown my life in various pleasurable addictions. So I will stick with the current me, because that other guy is a scary thing.
Yes the barfing smiley is annoying. I think it is high time SG got some new smileys. They can keep the ones they have just add like 50 more to cover every possible mood.
- And to Jspooky, I am like that in martial arts (or at least use to be having done anything related to martial arts in several years). I almost never practice but I always seem to come out on top. Oh and my circle-change is a scary thing(to batters) and nobody ever taught me how to throw it.
When I was a teenager I thought the same way. Here is my advice: Find a way to live on the edge. Do some really dangerous things for a while since you know that you'll eventually die anyways.
I'm still curious as to what you were refering to in one of your last posts. It really mirriored some feelings that I've had in the past as well.
See, I'm a musician. At age 20 I'm playing in the graduate student group at UNM, which has a fine music department, and I'm playing some of the top literature. Here's the catch: I've never really once sat down and practiced. I mean, sure, I've sat down and learned a pice now and then, but on a large scale I do very little work. I look at a lot of my fellow clarinet players who work there asses of for less of a pay-off than I get naturally, and I feel guilty, because they want it so much more than me, yet I get it for a fraction of the work and time.
I'm no genius here, just talented I guess. It makes whatever I've achieved on the clarinet not mean as much. I basically don't care. It depresses me, because at the end of the day, everything music related I've done that day is hollow. My continued success at the cost of no effort is the only thing still keeping me in music, and that motive is fading fast.
There, now your turn. Give me the low down.
_______________________________________
Word up on that Mother Ship image. Why's she vomiting? Shit, what a waste!
-Mike
[Edited on Jul 02, 2004 9:56PM]