sublyminull

It's just been a bullshit night. Everything is really catching up with me. I'm not fond of blogging about my fucking feelings. I'm really good at holding everything in. So. here it goes. I have two best friends. both have supported me through thick and thin. I love them both like brother and sister. One is my friend Mark who I have been friends with for around 10 years i would die for this kid as i have almost proven more then once. The other is my friend Emily also would die for this kid. She is my creative muse and I really miss her.
Emily moved to sarasota, FL 2 years ago for school. Mark moved to Jacksonville, FL in may along with all of my cool family to take the family business down there. Now i'm alone in this city with only one good friend who is nothing like me in any way. So I am trying my damndest to move to florida the catch is I don't want to leave my job. For being 22 I have a job where if i stay here i'll be set for life. But i'm not longer happy here. there is this huge hole in my soul that i cannot fill with anything. I have no friends here. I so fucking scared of relationships that I won't even date anymore. I need to leave this city I need to be happy.

Everyday is worse then the one before. I fill my life now with temporary happiness provided from my hobbies but at the end of the day i go to sleep with a bigger hole.