stiles

Burning a salad properly is a three part process. The first is to turn one's attention to a phone call while pan toasting slivered almonds. The second step is to panic upon the realization that the almonds are on fire and to grab the flaming pan and run outdoors with it in order to deal with the problem outside with a hose. Finally, while making the run, one must jostle the bowl containing the main salad product at least partially onto the burner so that it can char while you are otherwise occupied. It is an art which takes practice for some, for others it comes naturally. I chose to display my skill just in time for lunch guests and friends from a client's office to arrive. You may choose to make your moment a little more discreet.

Pants fires are no fun, at least not that kind. Ahh, nothing so sweet as the smell of burning car, at least that's what grandma used to say from behind the prison wire. Snif.