You should only do what makes you happy, nothing more, nothing less. I am dealing with just wanting to say fuckit, and leave everything. I have a great job, great friends, but something is missing. What that is I have no idea. Just follow your dreams and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Before you know it, you will be 50 years old and have nothing to show for it. Does that make any sense?

mm u take over i would love that

Yeah I'm going to Otakon this year, I might dress up as Count D from Pet Shop of Horrors.

Oh baby.....now you're making me sad.

As far as the other guy goes, try to remember a few things. First, you don't really know what his life is like, at least for him. He might be very unhappy, it's not likely from what you describe but it's not impossible. Besides, no matter how he is, it doesn't really affect your life, does it? I know you probally know all this stuff already, I still just thought I should say it though.

I had a boyfriend who lived about 1,000 miles away once, over five years ago. I eventually moved out to MA where he lived. I moved back here to IA about 2 years later, with him. And just under 2 weeks ago, I married that boyfriend. So if you and Christian really love each other it can happen, your odds are actually better than mine were.

I'm not sure what you mean by not being able to practice what you believe. My mom is a born-again Christian and is very intolerant. I used to be heavy into Witchcraft and it caused major problems. When I met my Teddybear, I eventually ended up converting to his Catholism. My mom was only slightly less upset but since I'm actually going to church now on a semi-regular basis, she can really say anything. Of course if she knew about my love of girl on girl sex and some aspects of Witchcraft still, she would drop dead. But basically...I simply don't discuss religion with her anymore. Funny though, she will only "witness" with people who won't tell her off completely, people who usually go to some type of church already.

Having your own house is a blessing in and of itself. Is it a nice house though? Are you living where you can earn a living/raise a family, grow old someday? If so, I would try to be thankfull. A good house beats a great apartment.

I do so wish I was closer though, I would give you the biggest hug and kiss that you ever had from any girl ever!
I could use a local friend too and I promise I wouldn't use you. Well, maybe for some sweet cuddles but that's all.

It's hard being 19. And having parents, LOL. I understand how you feel, though, at least a little bit. Don't let things get you down-- it might not seem as though you have a lot, but in a few years, you'll be ahead of the game. Not many other people will have been working for so long, or have a house to call their own. College isn't for everyone. I ended up going to a tech school that's always advertised on TV, and it turned out to be the perfect thing-- an affordable education that gave me marketable skills. Good luck with things. And if you ever need to talk, send me an email or find me on IM.

Life sucks, you just have to make the best out of the little that you can get your hands on. I have fought tooth and nail to get where I am now. (ask me about it sometime) I still don't know whats going on sometimes.

About your Boyfriend, I totally understand, it is simular to what I think of my... girlfriend?

When it comes to relationships, I always recommend going out, having fun and letting shit ride. As soon as you know that they arn't right for you, move on. Enjoy the memories your forged with that person, and appriciate the fact that you did have fun. Just don't force things. It is pretty much either right or wrong. Finding that one for you is a challenge and a quest. Don't settle, go out and find what or who you want.. Keep this in mind to, if a person doesnt want you every bit as much as you want them, don't go for it.

Life is to short to not have fun, and or be with someone you don't quite click with.

... on a couple of side notes, I replied to your reply, and furthermore, I think you are a very beautiful woman.

I was reading your profile, I found a picture of me that might cheer you up a bit. ;>

got my hair falls from ebay, they have some cool ones on there at times. i was going to make my own but was easier to buy them!