well as some of you know im in this ongoing war with trackfone. if this is news to you read my older note.
now i cant prove it yet but the evil minds over in india just one uped me. you see where all i did was send them poo they did somthing to my phone and made it send a sound wave that scrambled my internal organs. so not knowing this i have been keeping my phone in my pocket all this time . then last night i stoped at renos and at first there was gurgling then churning then pain. i said bro i gota go somthing bad is about to happen. ofcorse he said use my bathroom but i sayed no id beter not i may be unleashing a powerfull evil on the world and you dont want it to start here. so i left with the plan to rush home asap.
but by the time i got to the corner it was clear i was not makeing it home. so i headed to town as fast as the car would go.
i ran into shell .....the mfn door was locked someone is in there knowing im only mins away from hell on earth i drove to the next gasstation and because im only giving myself a 30% likelihood of making it in the bathroom b4 the un thinkable happens i parked in the back thinking i could sneak in not have to pass the cashregesters and slip around the corner to the bath room. but wtf the doors on that side are locked turns out they lock um at a certin time of night. now i have no time to wate i dont think i can sit down in the car and get out so i run realy run for the outher door. by the time i grab the door my ass and the backs of my leggs are hot and wet also if a goat ate a skunk just b4 dieing then layed on the hot road in mid july it would have smelled way beter than me. now i am holding back the explosion in my pants praying noone who knows me dont rush up to talk to me and even doing my best not to gag at the smell will i move as quickly as posable to the mens room without letting ne1 see my ass incase it shows through.
luckly i made it in with no complications the light comes on by its self when i go in and the stall is open .
i sit down and its like wave after wave of bombings ecoing in there. the stench was so thick i could see it in the air. but worse of all looking down at my pants there were things stuck in there that were compleatly un reconizable . now im trying to use the tp to try and scoop it out o my pants realy not geting ne where i picked a great day to not where underwhere . so now im concidering just how hard and how much more messy will this all be if i can get my boots off and use my socks to wipe everything up then put my pants back on and boots with no socks and leave, when all the suden the light gos out pich black ....i grab my cell phone not enough light for ne fase of this job wtf then i get it the light came on when i got in its a motion light ooooooo. so now im wadding up tp and throwing it over the stall but it was not enough to turn the light on. there is nothing els i can do time to man up. i pull up and squish back into my pants just holding them on and go wave my hand by the eye thing and on the goes. then as im returning to my hellish job i see brown paper hand towels lots of them so wile holding my pants up and hopeing noone comes in i get like 100 of them and use the sink to get 50 wet. back i go to my stall . the first ting i notice is the seat its covered i totaly shit both legs . so i clean that with my awsome paper. sit back down wash the inside of my pants the out side of my leggs and realy get things kinda good. now i didnt flush the brown paper just cause i shit myself dont make me a savage. so i have a stack of brown paper on the ground everything is clean and in the bowl a master piece a sea monster it was great. but i was traumatized by it all and my pants were wet so i prepare to leave . i flush but guess what aperantly there toilet can not handle a 50 pound sea squid and it starts to over flow......so i hurry up and turn the water off to the tank. now hpoeing the back of my pants dont look as wet as they feel i go out and wile staying as far as posable from the people at the regesters i say .....um is there a plunger here?......she yes back yes in the ladys room. so i go in there and get it plunge it all down turn the water on flush to make sure it all works and breath a sigh of releaf.
then i walk sideways out of the store so my wet ass never came into full view ran back to the car and raced home . without a word to remi i went to the bathroom riped off all my clothes put them in the washer and took a shower.
remi came in and said wtf whats going on i replyed i pooped my pants she said oh ok and left thats the last we spok of it except for me telling her we could no longer go to that store and she answered bull shit..
p.s, i know i cant spell and i cant put sentences and paragraphs together rite . none of it makes ne sense to me. sorry thats just how it is. if you feel the need to make fun of me please dont. i do have feelings. i think i had one yesterday in fact
now i cant prove it yet but the evil minds over in india just one uped me. you see where all i did was send them poo they did somthing to my phone and made it send a sound wave that scrambled my internal organs. so not knowing this i have been keeping my phone in my pocket all this time . then last night i stoped at renos and at first there was gurgling then churning then pain. i said bro i gota go somthing bad is about to happen. ofcorse he said use my bathroom but i sayed no id beter not i may be unleashing a powerfull evil on the world and you dont want it to start here. so i left with the plan to rush home asap.
but by the time i got to the corner it was clear i was not makeing it home. so i headed to town as fast as the car would go.
i ran into shell .....the mfn door was locked someone is in there knowing im only mins away from hell on earth i drove to the next gasstation and because im only giving myself a 30% likelihood of making it in the bathroom b4 the un thinkable happens i parked in the back thinking i could sneak in not have to pass the cashregesters and slip around the corner to the bath room. but wtf the doors on that side are locked turns out they lock um at a certin time of night. now i have no time to wate i dont think i can sit down in the car and get out so i run realy run for the outher door. by the time i grab the door my ass and the backs of my leggs are hot and wet also if a goat ate a skunk just b4 dieing then layed on the hot road in mid july it would have smelled way beter than me. now i am holding back the explosion in my pants praying noone who knows me dont rush up to talk to me and even doing my best not to gag at the smell will i move as quickly as posable to the mens room without letting ne1 see my ass incase it shows through.
luckly i made it in with no complications the light comes on by its self when i go in and the stall is open .
i sit down and its like wave after wave of bombings ecoing in there. the stench was so thick i could see it in the air. but worse of all looking down at my pants there were things stuck in there that were compleatly un reconizable . now im trying to use the tp to try and scoop it out o my pants realy not geting ne where i picked a great day to not where underwhere . so now im concidering just how hard and how much more messy will this all be if i can get my boots off and use my socks to wipe everything up then put my pants back on and boots with no socks and leave, when all the suden the light gos out pich black ....i grab my cell phone not enough light for ne fase of this job wtf then i get it the light came on when i got in its a motion light ooooooo. so now im wadding up tp and throwing it over the stall but it was not enough to turn the light on. there is nothing els i can do time to man up. i pull up and squish back into my pants just holding them on and go wave my hand by the eye thing and on the goes. then as im returning to my hellish job i see brown paper hand towels lots of them so wile holding my pants up and hopeing noone comes in i get like 100 of them and use the sink to get 50 wet. back i go to my stall . the first ting i notice is the seat its covered i totaly shit both legs . so i clean that with my awsome paper. sit back down wash the inside of my pants the out side of my leggs and realy get things kinda good. now i didnt flush the brown paper just cause i shit myself dont make me a savage. so i have a stack of brown paper on the ground everything is clean and in the bowl a master piece a sea monster it was great. but i was traumatized by it all and my pants were wet so i prepare to leave . i flush but guess what aperantly there toilet can not handle a 50 pound sea squid and it starts to over flow......so i hurry up and turn the water off to the tank. now hpoeing the back of my pants dont look as wet as they feel i go out and wile staying as far as posable from the people at the regesters i say .....um is there a plunger here?......she yes back yes in the ladys room. so i go in there and get it plunge it all down turn the water on flush to make sure it all works and breath a sigh of releaf.
then i walk sideways out of the store so my wet ass never came into full view ran back to the car and raced home . without a word to remi i went to the bathroom riped off all my clothes put them in the washer and took a shower.
remi came in and said wtf whats going on i replyed i pooped my pants she said oh ok and left thats the last we spok of it except for me telling her we could no longer go to that store and she answered bull shit..
p.s, i know i cant spell and i cant put sentences and paragraphs together rite . none of it makes ne sense to me. sorry thats just how it is. if you feel the need to make fun of me please dont. i do have feelings. i think i had one yesterday in fact
pax_:
That sounds absolutely terrible! At least you got through it with as much grace as you could muster. I probably would've cried.