Escaped male immate from lunatic asylum victim of panty raid, dehydration!
Oh, what a day true believers. I will elaborate.
I get up this morning and decide to cut my hair. I cut my own hair. I usually keep it really short and I've gotten pretty good with a set of clippers. Also I find cutting it and making all a uniform length rather zen and refreshing for some reason. But this winter I had a strange notion and let it grow. All winter. Since like September. So I had a bunch of hair.
I commence to cutting and my clippers are way outmatched, so I do some scissor work, but that's gonna take forever. so I drag my clippers through my hair trying to get underneath, cause sometimes that works, and it kinda did but only for one row. Also I couldn't decide if I wanted to take it all off or just cut it down a bunch, so the scissor stuff was all a different length. And somewhere in this process my clippers died. My hair killed them.
Long story made short, I ended up looking like a) a mental patient with the anti-lice special b) the asshole who fell asleep at the party first or c) the POS sibling who got attacked by the toddler with scissors and clippers. Srsly, I could have walked on as Frankenstein or a pestilence victim at any rep theatre in America.
S' okay, no problem, I'll just take a shower and go buy some new clippers and even my hair up real short. No big deal.
That's when I noticed all my briefs are gone. Can men be panty raided? Brief raided? They're all gone. All my boxer briefs are in one of the laundry piles, but I can't locate any of my legless underpants. I don't have a girlfriend, Luvamoose doesn't wear undies, WTF? I'm missing like 16 pairs of underwear.
S' okay no big problem, when I go buy the clippers I'll pickup some Hanes. Hey, good enough for Charlie Sheen, good enough for me. I'll just take a shower and go.
No water. "Yer well pump done gave out." No water until tomarrow night at the earliest. Jumpin' Judy on a popsickle stick. Nobody will venture a guess as to how much it will cost to get the water flowing again
I have one of those watercooler water tanks I uh,... liberated from a former employer so Luvamoose has water. It's fairly warm here and supposed to rain all day and night so I'm just gonna wait till after dark and run and dance, like the satyr, bathing naked in the night, drenched with nature's own life-giving water as it falls.
That, or go to my Sister's.
So there's my day, so far. It's not even tea yet.
==============================================================
Feb 22. No water means no plumbing, so I have been going out to the pasture with the cows and finding a nice tree. Well, overnight the weather plunged to just above freezing and the broccoli pasta salad I had kicked in. I tore out of the house sprinting throught the yard only to fumble my zipper with numb hands as I squatted, tearing the fly out of a fairly new pair of jeans. I dunno who I pissed off or how, but I am sincerely sorry.
Oh, what a day true believers. I will elaborate.
I get up this morning and decide to cut my hair. I cut my own hair. I usually keep it really short and I've gotten pretty good with a set of clippers. Also I find cutting it and making all a uniform length rather zen and refreshing for some reason. But this winter I had a strange notion and let it grow. All winter. Since like September. So I had a bunch of hair.
I commence to cutting and my clippers are way outmatched, so I do some scissor work, but that's gonna take forever. so I drag my clippers through my hair trying to get underneath, cause sometimes that works, and it kinda did but only for one row. Also I couldn't decide if I wanted to take it all off or just cut it down a bunch, so the scissor stuff was all a different length. And somewhere in this process my clippers died. My hair killed them.
Long story made short, I ended up looking like a) a mental patient with the anti-lice special b) the asshole who fell asleep at the party first or c) the POS sibling who got attacked by the toddler with scissors and clippers. Srsly, I could have walked on as Frankenstein or a pestilence victim at any rep theatre in America.
S' okay, no problem, I'll just take a shower and go buy some new clippers and even my hair up real short. No big deal.
That's when I noticed all my briefs are gone. Can men be panty raided? Brief raided? They're all gone. All my boxer briefs are in one of the laundry piles, but I can't locate any of my legless underpants. I don't have a girlfriend, Luvamoose doesn't wear undies, WTF? I'm missing like 16 pairs of underwear.
S' okay no big problem, when I go buy the clippers I'll pickup some Hanes. Hey, good enough for Charlie Sheen, good enough for me. I'll just take a shower and go.
No water. "Yer well pump done gave out." No water until tomarrow night at the earliest. Jumpin' Judy on a popsickle stick. Nobody will venture a guess as to how much it will cost to get the water flowing again
I have one of those watercooler water tanks I uh,... liberated from a former employer so Luvamoose has water. It's fairly warm here and supposed to rain all day and night so I'm just gonna wait till after dark and run and dance, like the satyr, bathing naked in the night, drenched with nature's own life-giving water as it falls.
That, or go to my Sister's.
So there's my day, so far. It's not even tea yet.
==============================================================
Feb 22. No water means no plumbing, so I have been going out to the pasture with the cows and finding a nice tree. Well, overnight the weather plunged to just above freezing and the broccoli pasta salad I had kicked in. I tore out of the house sprinting throught the yard only to fumble my zipper with numb hands as I squatted, tearing the fly out of a fairly new pair of jeans. I dunno who I pissed off or how, but I am sincerely sorry.