Looking at the math I will die a) in bed b) at work c) at Wal-Mart. The laws of probability do not lie.
Yes, I ended up at Wally World again. I am indeed a pathologically bad grocery shopper. I always, without fail, forget something.
Also, I am not as rugged as I sometimes paint myself to be here in this blog. While I consider myself quite masculine, handy and marriageable (one of my Roller Derby associates once commented that I was "the straightest man [she] ever met") I like clean bed linens and my skillet P. F. Chang's. I need stuff.
Which brings me to today. Empty refridgerator and it's going to snow.
3 inches after 3 AM. It snows here all the time, so why does the community set the threat level somewhere between ragnarok and the end times EVERY TIME it snows? People were emptying shelves, folks were leaving work on their lunch to go to Wal-Mart for groceries. It's Indiana, not Miami, even if we get 6 inches of snow, it'll be handled in 2 days max., I'm not thinking this'll be the siege of Stalingrad, one cartfull is plenty, lady. There was, no shit, low level hysteria.
The snow is set to begin at 3 AM, 0300 hours, a mythical time for most around here, being that it falls after FOX news and before the RDF. When good folks are asleep.
Anyhew, I had a good time at the store. I cut a dashing figure in my best brown duck Carhartt's and a black toboggan. I find fitting in sartorially helps put the natives at ease. I tried to make eye contact with a very pretty pale gale with a chestnut ponytail and 3 foot long eyelashes, but she was way too engrossed in olive oil. Her loss. Later a very classy looking bank teller lady chatted me up in the checkout line. She knew her way around eyeliner and was wearing that orange-peachy-gold eyeshadow, I love that stuff.
Oh, I forgot shampoo.
Yes, I ended up at Wally World again. I am indeed a pathologically bad grocery shopper. I always, without fail, forget something.
Also, I am not as rugged as I sometimes paint myself to be here in this blog. While I consider myself quite masculine, handy and marriageable (one of my Roller Derby associates once commented that I was "the straightest man [she] ever met") I like clean bed linens and my skillet P. F. Chang's. I need stuff.
Which brings me to today. Empty refridgerator and it's going to snow.
3 inches after 3 AM. It snows here all the time, so why does the community set the threat level somewhere between ragnarok and the end times EVERY TIME it snows? People were emptying shelves, folks were leaving work on their lunch to go to Wal-Mart for groceries. It's Indiana, not Miami, even if we get 6 inches of snow, it'll be handled in 2 days max., I'm not thinking this'll be the siege of Stalingrad, one cartfull is plenty, lady. There was, no shit, low level hysteria.
The snow is set to begin at 3 AM, 0300 hours, a mythical time for most around here, being that it falls after FOX news and before the RDF. When good folks are asleep.
Anyhew, I had a good time at the store. I cut a dashing figure in my best brown duck Carhartt's and a black toboggan. I find fitting in sartorially helps put the natives at ease. I tried to make eye contact with a very pretty pale gale with a chestnut ponytail and 3 foot long eyelashes, but she was way too engrossed in olive oil. Her loss. Later a very classy looking bank teller lady chatted me up in the checkout line. She knew her way around eyeliner and was wearing that orange-peachy-gold eyeshadow, I love that stuff.
Oh, I forgot shampoo.