So, I've been back home since the 29th now. It's been somewhat relaxing so far, but I can't help but feel like I'm in limbo. Chicago is much more home than San Francisco will ever be. The Academy is a awesome school, but I'm just not feeling the city. It's not that I feel lonely because I've made some great friends. I'm unmotivated and my passion is lacking. This past year seemed like one long day and I'm exhausted from it. Everyone in San Francisco is telling me to stay, but I can't afford it. The money problems just add to the weight on my head. I can't stand worrying about money.
There isn't a definite plan of what I'm going to do and when I'm planning to do anything. If I came home I'd live in our basement and set it up as a work space. No one thinks I can be productive if I was left to manage my own schedule, but I honestly want to try things out (drawing, painting, music) on my own for a while. I so desperately want to get the kinks out of my brain and drawing arm/hand. There's a comfort level to be found.
Of course I would need to find a job while living here. That way I could save up and eventually move into the city. Hopefully they'll transfer me to the Utrecht in downtown Chicago. It probably does more business then my store does. That store is a deserted wasteland. WHERE THE PEOPLE AT?
I want to blog more or atleast write in my journal. There's a mess in my head and I'm completely clouded. ARGH
It's too damn cold outside. It makes my knees hurt when I run. And also, fuck the wind.
There isn't a definite plan of what I'm going to do and when I'm planning to do anything. If I came home I'd live in our basement and set it up as a work space. No one thinks I can be productive if I was left to manage my own schedule, but I honestly want to try things out (drawing, painting, music) on my own for a while. I so desperately want to get the kinks out of my brain and drawing arm/hand. There's a comfort level to be found.
Of course I would need to find a job while living here. That way I could save up and eventually move into the city. Hopefully they'll transfer me to the Utrecht in downtown Chicago. It probably does more business then my store does. That store is a deserted wasteland. WHERE THE PEOPLE AT?
I want to blog more or atleast write in my journal. There's a mess in my head and I'm completely clouded. ARGH
It's too damn cold outside. It makes my knees hurt when I run. And also, fuck the wind.
i know ive been pressuring you lately to move back to chicago with me, but please make this decision based on whats best for you.
no matter where we end up though, it will be together. i can't wait to live with you again.
hugs and kisses