spaceykasem

Wow. a late update for me.

What a weekend. The ugly, the bad, the good....in that order.

I may have finally gotten thru to the Evil Princess...she's starting to show appreciation for me...but it may be too late!

Starla's got pink hair now, as if she already wasn't the subject of enough of my wet dreams. Rrrrrwaowwww!

Love you all; toodles...

Another day where I am fighting off the sadness. I vascillate between feeling completely rejected and feeling completely free. I am very confused.

I'm only 23, but I feel 33. I need to reclaim my youth; I feel like I grew up way too fast.

Today I feel kind of sad again. It comes and goes. I am going to miss her, but only until I meet somebdoy who can treat me better. Then, I'll forget this pain, I swear!

Today is my son's 3rd birthday. Three years ago, I hustled from Florida out to Cali to see him come into the world. Since then, I have changed so much,...
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Tuesday, hmmmmm....how do I feel?

Well, having coffee with a female friend who I haven't been able to hang out with, thanks to HER. That should be fun. Now that I'm available, I'm interested in hearing her feelings about me. Spicy, spicy!

The last week at my job before I take a leave of absence, and work closer to home (my commute is 90 min.)...
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I am so bored at work, I could eat a fuckin' midget. No offense to any "little people" on SG, but I mean, I have some serious time on my hands. It makes me wonder why I'm not just sitting at home smoking out. For real.

Well, anyway, I have to give major shout-outs to Dusty, of D-TV! Her video fuckin' rocked, I let her...
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Back from another weekend; feelin' pretty good. Hopefully all of my SG buds are livin' well.

Sitting at my job, trying to get motivated to actually DO something. I know it will make the time go by, but I am not in the mood.

I had a great time this weekend out at Zanzibar. I plan on chilling there more often. They play good hip-hop...
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Happy Fuckin' Friday.

It's like 100 degrees out here in the valley. This early in the summer, you have got to be joking.

I am out of money WAY before next payday; trying to think of free activities for the wknd, and budget my herb supply.

Did any of you watch last night's CSI:? God, Quentin Tarantino is a genius.

Well, back to my cell...

A new day, another step on my path. The first few steps are always tentative, frightening. But once you get your legs under you and your head about you, a new clarity comes.

I really feel great. I feel raw, and I still hurt, but I just love that I am feeling something. It has been nothing but numbness for so long.

I have no...
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I called an old friend yesterday; a girl I almost fell in love with. The girl who has most recently broken my heart, Sarah, fought so hard to keep from being with this other girl. I broke her heart. Told her that I was going stay with Sarah. She left my house in tears.

Yesterday, we spoke, and she told me 'Any woman who did...
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You know what, fuck that. I am not going to try to win her heart back. I am going to be happy with myself, work on healing these wounds, and MOVE THE FUCK ON!!! She'll be sorry.

Speaking of which, I need a girlfriend. Not like a real girlfriend, but a homegirl I could run around LA acting crazy with, someone who is always down...
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Well, the weekend was a rollercoaster, as expected. Surprisingly, I actually feel OK. She didn't sleep with him; it's more of an aching heart type of thing. She needs something fresh. I don't think it has much to do with him, per se, and more with just her need to spread her wings. I've decided to spread mine, give her some space to grow.

We've...
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Well, she drops the bombshells on me. She really cares for this guy, she loves me but "she's not in love with me", and she's looking forward to living her own life.

I'm heartbroken, but determined not to wallow in self-pity. My imagination is killing me. And, worst of all, I'm on her turf. I have very few people I ca trust out here.

Hopefully...
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