I receivedthe gift certificate during the week; it was for a mere twenty five dollars, but in this year of my life it represented a fortune. It was money I didn't have to budget towards anything. I could literally spend it on anything within the large palace of commerce. I wandered aimlessly to and fro, procuring a few items included in my budget out of force of habit if nothing else. But prior to such frivolity I selected a Christmas card to send to my mother and father. My only family left save my brother and his wife. They remain a satellite to my existence and are another topic all together.
I strolled aimlessly down the aisles, searching for fifteen dollars worth of spontaneity, but found none. I settled on a few beers as to be expected. I made my way to the self checkout, or as I call it god's gift to the socially inept. No fiddling with pleasantries, no interaction, just boop boop it's scanned and time to pay. Gift certificate included I spent one dollar and eleven cents.
Items packed I took my leave of the establishment. Approaching me at some distance was an older woman dressed in a floor length puffy purple coat of a vintage that could only be the late 80's. She strode quickly and fumbled in her clutch. Riffling through her clutch she dug into an ancient snap close wallet change purse combo as she went she accidentally discarded a singular twenty dollar bill. It fluttered to the ground and I tracked it as it went.
I quickened my pace and scooped it from the ground in one deft movement. During the process I briefly considered pocketing it an going about my way. Briefly. Instead I pivoted on my heel and strode with purpose in pursuit of the purple granny. As I gained on her I announced my presence with a simple series of "ma'am's". Once aside her a young man she met with directed her attention to me and I handed her the bill saying "you dropped this". She bleated a shocked thank you and I turned and left. The transaction took no more than few seconds.
I turned immediately and took up my path of exit. I got what I needed on this trip.
I strolled aimlessly down the aisles, searching for fifteen dollars worth of spontaneity, but found none. I settled on a few beers as to be expected. I made my way to the self checkout, or as I call it god's gift to the socially inept. No fiddling with pleasantries, no interaction, just boop boop it's scanned and time to pay. Gift certificate included I spent one dollar and eleven cents.
Items packed I took my leave of the establishment. Approaching me at some distance was an older woman dressed in a floor length puffy purple coat of a vintage that could only be the late 80's. She strode quickly and fumbled in her clutch. Riffling through her clutch she dug into an ancient snap close wallet change purse combo as she went she accidentally discarded a singular twenty dollar bill. It fluttered to the ground and I tracked it as it went.
I quickened my pace and scooped it from the ground in one deft movement. During the process I briefly considered pocketing it an going about my way. Briefly. Instead I pivoted on my heel and strode with purpose in pursuit of the purple granny. As I gained on her I announced my presence with a simple series of "ma'am's". Once aside her a young man she met with directed her attention to me and I handed her the bill saying "you dropped this". She bleated a shocked thank you and I turned and left. The transaction took no more than few seconds.
I turned immediately and took up my path of exit. I got what I needed on this trip.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
toothpickmoe:
Is that what those were? Poopydave's got some competition.
mistersatan:
I don't think there's any way I could blame MY farts on a kid, even my own. Remember the backyard incident?