Since my roomie got work I'm working on getting myself out of debt that has accumulated since being unemployed. It's looking like it'll take all of this month and a little more, but on the positive side after that all the cash he gives me will be gravy. And at 800 bucks a month that means I'll be able to take a vacation for real soon. I'm shooting for around Halloween since it's my favorite time of year. I'm still definitely aiming at LA since there's a ton of people there that are cool and I'd like to meet. I'd take some time and drive down and hit up all the kids on the way, but no vacation time until next year. Dragggggg.
Over this last year I've been working on valuing myself more. I've had a lot of problems with self-worth over the years, but I'm working on opening my eyes and as I have I'm seeing that I have a lot to offer. I'm working on concentrating on those traits rather than the negatives about myself, be it my weight, my anxiety, or my complete lack of luck in relationships. That being said I've had to remove a few people from my life that fed my anxiety and low self-esteem. Both behaved the same way towards me; stating that they had love for me and cared for me but did nothing to demonstrate those emotions when all I really need in life are those demonstrations. Saying one thing, doing another simply put. I can't handle that sort of thing. It makes me feel shitty about myself and feeds the negative in me. And I don't need that. I feel bad and hurt that I've lost people, but that's just how it has to be if you want into my life.
But though it may hurt to excise people it's been good for myself. No more stewing on the how's and why's of people's behavior towards me, more thoughts on myself and building the good parts of my personality to new levels. My only regret is that it's taken this long to get to this point. Life could have been a lot different for me at this point if I'd learned my lessons early.
But that's life. And as for mine right now it's ok. I wish for more but have what I need to be content.
Take care.
Over this last year I've been working on valuing myself more. I've had a lot of problems with self-worth over the years, but I'm working on opening my eyes and as I have I'm seeing that I have a lot to offer. I'm working on concentrating on those traits rather than the negatives about myself, be it my weight, my anxiety, or my complete lack of luck in relationships. That being said I've had to remove a few people from my life that fed my anxiety and low self-esteem. Both behaved the same way towards me; stating that they had love for me and cared for me but did nothing to demonstrate those emotions when all I really need in life are those demonstrations. Saying one thing, doing another simply put. I can't handle that sort of thing. It makes me feel shitty about myself and feeds the negative in me. And I don't need that. I feel bad and hurt that I've lost people, but that's just how it has to be if you want into my life.
But though it may hurt to excise people it's been good for myself. No more stewing on the how's and why's of people's behavior towards me, more thoughts on myself and building the good parts of my personality to new levels. My only regret is that it's taken this long to get to this point. Life could have been a lot different for me at this point if I'd learned my lessons early.
But that's life. And as for mine right now it's ok. I wish for more but have what I need to be content.
Take care.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
dizzy:
And, good on ya for cleaning house a bit. I know you hate it, but dead skin is shed, and needs to be disposed off.
toothpickmoe:
Lipitor milkshake.