snakeplissken

Thanks much for all the birthday wishes everybody!

It's been a long year since my last one. I decided to take another stab at life without help and took myself off of Prozac earlier in the year. For the most part I'm dealing well with anxiety without it. I think a lot of my progress in anxiety has been due to self-discovery and not from medical assistance. Awareness itself has been like a cure on it's own. At times when I feel myself losing to anxiety I'm more able to recognize the event and the cause and then to deal with it appropriately.

There are some symptoms I wrestle with endlessly and may simply not be able to defeat on my own. Foremost is rumination. Rumination is an irrational and sometimes obsessive tendency towards reflection on the negative aspects of the past. For me it's relationships, failings, and a lot of "what if I had done this instead of this" type stuff. It's pointless and self-destructive, but still a difficult behavior to avoid for me. Prozac helped a lot with this in a very positive way, and the one reason I really am considering utilizing it again.

Life is a bit of a standstill right now. No luck with the ladies, but at least I have a stable job and my bum roommate does as well. Having money free now to do things could be good in getting out and socializing. And by "socializing" I mean "get a woman to touch my penis". I'd settle for new friends though.

Vacation is a must. By hook or by crook I'm gonna get away for at least a three day weekend. I'm planning on In-N-Out and Magic Mountain. Booya.

I'm listening to The Cure, smoking pot, and making lasagna. Fuck year, baller status.