snakeplissken

Life has sort of downshifted into lather, rinse, repeat. Pretty much just working all week and moping about on the weekends. I need to find things to do to fill my free time, when I have it, so I don't slip back into permanent mope mode.

Step one will be getting my ass back to a gym. It's been a long time since I went and I can feel the time. Frankly I just sort of gave up on it some time ago. I don't know if I lost interest, inspiration, or something else. I think it's been a bit of all three. I took the end of things between the ex and me pretty hard and much to much to heart. Too much blaming myself and putting myself down which led to a "who cares anyway" kind of attitude. That's the old way of me and I've got to get back to forward process instead of this static state I've been in. I just need to break friction and get the ball rolling again. Wallowing over such nonsense is just silly and I'm better than that. Much better in fact. And once back in that rut it only gets deeper and harder to get out of. Time to wipe and get off the pot!

Still no love life at all. Mostly because I still don't have any sort of real social life or way to meet new people. And I don't really know where to go or what to do to change that. I never really learned socialization with strangers and trying to pick that up this late in life is really challenging. I'd go out and do more things, but I'm not sure what to do. And when I do I end up keeping to myself like always. That last bit of social anxiety keeps hanging on and keeps me alone. Perhaps I'll overcome it, perhaps I won't. I hope for the former as the latter could make for a lonely life. I'm taking steps to overcome, they're just really small ones. Not always forward, but at least I'm moving.

No one climbs a slippery slope without a slip or two. That being said I'm gonna go judge some beers and see if I can't get some social practice. Peace, love, and gravy.