silverrevolver

I'm not sure how it happened, but it happened incrimentally as these things do. A dash of old family shame mixed with lonliness and fear plus a dash of misplaced obsession. Somehow I am in a masively unhealthy place, I feel a bit like I did two years ago, when my entire life changed, when I Ieft her and I almost lost it. This has been just as big for me, I've again thrust myself into the unknown and I wasn't ready. I miss my friends, my city, my life. I was happy there and strong. Now I am small, frightened so so lonely I want to cry out, but no sound comes. You are right about everything and I'm sorry.

I am going to be offline for awhile it just fuels the fire of my overactive mind. I need to make my life here. I need to get myself together and most of all I need a good cry and a cup if tea. When you do it to yourself there are no shoulders. See you all in a week or two.

Don't you go worrying about me, I'll be fine. I don't deserve compassion or pity, these demons are mine.

I go black tonight.