It appears I am a fool for being optimistic and thinking things had finally come to a place in time where my family and I could heal and my ill family member, my mother, would eventually be alright. I know that just sounded jaded as fuck but I'm going to be honest, literally everything has fallen apart in a matter of hours since I woke up earlier. I was even on site about 4+ hours ago commenting on sets and blog posts from friends and people I truly admire and love supporting here on site but after I logged out, things took a turn in the worst possible fucking direction. It isn't written "in stone" yet as they like to say but there is a pretty high chance that now my mother may actually be leaving this mortal existence behind anywhere from a matter of hours to a matter of days if they are not able to stabilize her and also figure out what is causing a new and very bad secondary problem that has arisen.
As I just said, it is not a fact yet that she will pass away but the chances of it happening just skyrocketed through the roof percentage wise. Even the primary physician did not sugar coat the situation (which I am thankful he did not sugar coat it as I hate when doctors lie to spare your feelings) and said the next few hours to few days are very critical and it is not looking at all "good" at this current time.
I will explain all of what had, is and does happen with this at a later point in time due to the immense sadness, fear and stress this is causing not only to myself but my father and brother as well. My mother has always been the BEST of us in our family by leaps and bounds. If she passes away, I literally do not know what will happen to my father (he is significantly older than even my mom) let alone myself or my brother.
I would ask that those of you who are familiar with me and are my friends here to please just keep her in your thoughts and that is all I ask for from anyone. I myself am not religious but if you are and you want to say a prayer, please do so. Thank you for taking the time to read this my friends and thank you for the support you have shown me off site and on site via private messages or comments in my blog posts. You are all truly appreciated and I love every single one of you. I am sorry I have not been the best of friends currently as far as interaction on site goes. But I know you all understand why that is now after the earlier posts about this subject from weeks ago and the now horribly and incorrectly optimistic post from three days ago as well as obviously, this new blog post.
Again, thank you all for the support you have and continue to show. I cannot ever thank you enough and you know who you all are too. You have been wonderful friends and I love you all and am proud to know you and call you all my friends. Much love to you all and you will see another update as soon as humanly possible when I know more about this situation.
Much love to you all, with respect,
Nick
