My stepfather passed away three years ago today. We all nicknamed him the "Old Farte".
He reveled in it and collected all kinds of fart memorabilia over the years.
So in his memory, here is an "Ode to an Old Farte" -
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.....
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
I gave the "Old Farte" memorabilia to his son so he can carry on the tradition.
(and he does it sooo well!)
He was an absolute hoot. He had everyone convinced that my mother beat him. As they would head out the front door - he would cower and yell "stop hitting me". He was 6'2" tall and 250 pounds. My mom was 5'5" and 160 pounds and as gentle as a lamb. It was ludicrous.
This was the guy who would stage abductions, one time he had the entire County Police department looking for an abducted girl - some farmer called it in - it was all a hoax. They sat at home and listened to the police radio just busting a gut. I know it was irresponsible. Probably why I trod the straight and narrow today - after living through some of that.
As a teenager he tried to get one girl's attention by dynamiting the tree in her front yard.
He didn't want anyone to mourn his passing. If he's anywhere reading this he's just laughing his head off. I know it seemed irreverent - but that's who and what he was.
He reveled in it and collected all kinds of fart memorabilia over the years.
So in his memory, here is an "Ode to an Old Farte" -
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.....
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
I gave the "Old Farte" memorabilia to his son so he can carry on the tradition.
(and he does it sooo well!) He was an absolute hoot. He had everyone convinced that my mother beat him. As they would head out the front door - he would cower and yell "stop hitting me". He was 6'2" tall and 250 pounds. My mom was 5'5" and 160 pounds and as gentle as a lamb. It was ludicrous.
This was the guy who would stage abductions, one time he had the entire County Police department looking for an abducted girl - some farmer called it in - it was all a hoax. They sat at home and listened to the police radio just busting a gut. I know it was irresponsible. Probably why I trod the straight and narrow today - after living through some of that.
As a teenager he tried to get one girl's attention by dynamiting the tree in her front yard.
He didn't want anyone to mourn his passing. If he's anywhere reading this he's just laughing his head off. I know it seemed irreverent - but that's who and what he was.
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i'm good, burried in work, and so is the man, but it's just one of those weeks i guess.