I am in a strange place in my life right now, trying to figure some shit out. I am a caretaker; my spouse has Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and as the decease worsens I become more and more isolated because my life revolves around her and her needs. We have lived with MS for 15 years and it is finally taking a toll on every aspect of our lives.
She just went through a bad spell and spent 2.5 weeks in the hospital. Now she is confined to a wheelchair and will probably never walk again. As her condition has worsened, we have ceased to be husband and wife; I am now a caretaker and she, now fully disabled is often too tired and withdrawn to even hold a conversation, let alone be intimate. We haven't had sex in over a year, and being an affectionate, emotional man, I am increasingly lonely, and starving for even the simplest human touch.
It is all fucking with my head, heart and soul...I am too young to stop being a sexual being! I want to start living again, but I feel so guilty for wanting more than I have when my spouse is trapped inside her body, wants more, but can't have it! Fuck, I feels as though the Universe hates me and has all my life!
