sassysenzafine

I have always been the Diplomat - smoothing down potential confrontations between family members and friends. Biting my tongue so as not to say things that might offend. It gets tiring, this way of being. Constantly having to parade around with a smile on my face, lest people think they have affected me, or 'gotten to me' in some way.

There are days when I need to be left alone...because I know that if someone even looks at me just so I am going to snap on them. But maybe I need to start being more honest with my raw feelings, and doing just that. Then maybe people will begin to realize I am not their fucking doormat.

But I know that lashing back, (even if it rightfully deserved) is only going to make me feel like an asshole later. So I just continue to bite my tongue, and smile. Bury my true feelings. Avoid confrontation and conflict.

Who knows though...on the horizon my "balls" just may reveal themselves and I will retaliate....