Went to see a friend today. See how she was doin'. I've been kinda worried about her lately. Her journals have been very dark and introspective. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I like dark and I especially like introspective. But it sounded like she's been hurting lately, so I thought I'd pay her a visit. A little out of my way, but hell, isn't that what friends do? Anyway... she's doing alright. She's been thru some rough stuff and she looked a little thin, but I was happy with what I saw. Like so many people, she lets the negative vibes get her down, and she's in an occupation that is loaded with negativity. So it's understandable that she has been feeling low. I know things will turn better for her real soon. I send her some happy thoughts every day. But, I'll keep my eye on her, too. Not that I have a choice. I've never shown any signs of obsessive-compulsive behavior, but I do when it comes to her. Believe me, I'm not in the guardian-angel business. I'm doing this cuz I really love this chick, and want to see her happy. Today I travelled about a hundred miles out of my way to see her. If I had to, I would go to the ends of the earth. 
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thanks for the concern by the way. i only have a ring left around the eye so at least i don't look like an ogre anymore.
I can totally relate to the other thing you mentioned. I feel that way almost every time I see her. I always have. The reasons have changed over time but the feelings stay about the same. I pretty much agree with what you said at the end of your journal too. Dammit.