so who the fuck changed all this around.,......??????????????
anyhow... so i dont seem to come out here as much as i used,,,,, something to do maybe with learning that i have depression, but learning what it is, and learning what to do with it, maybe i just dont need to need to spew my crap as much as i used too????
i dont know really....
but for those who care,,, witch i know are few to none.. ;} i think i have channelled my depression elsewhere,,, into not liking people???
how is that possible, without be depressed???? kinda weird, but i just turned 31 (old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and i think i just dont have that much faith in people,, or maybe i have just excepted that??
weird, but i can go days, almost a week, with out talking to my few good freinds,,, and i am ok with that!! i almost dont want to even deal with people anymore, especially strangers,,, and i used to love strangers!!!!!!!!! i always thought there was that goodness about people, that sincerity..... but i thnk i have come to terms with the fact that most of the people i meet arent at all sincere about anything other than themselves...... and after spending so long thinking they were, i am afraid that realizing they arent, i will be just the oppisite,,,,,, a complete hermit... i dont want to be a hermit,, i want to be me,, ,i want genuine and real people in my liufe,, but most of all... i want to be genuine and real to somebody else..........
aaahhhh... my struggle that is life...
but the ad part is,,,, i am still happt despite it all....
and oh ya,,,,,, u,,, and you know who u are,,,, i miss ya stranger.... !! take care sweetie!!
anyhow... so i dont seem to come out here as much as i used,,,,, something to do maybe with learning that i have depression, but learning what it is, and learning what to do with it, maybe i just dont need to need to spew my crap as much as i used too????
i dont know really....
but for those who care,,, witch i know are few to none.. ;} i think i have channelled my depression elsewhere,,, into not liking people???
how is that possible, without be depressed???? kinda weird, but i just turned 31 (old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and i think i just dont have that much faith in people,, or maybe i have just excepted that??
weird, but i can go days, almost a week, with out talking to my few good freinds,,, and i am ok with that!! i almost dont want to even deal with people anymore, especially strangers,,, and i used to love strangers!!!!!!!!! i always thought there was that goodness about people, that sincerity..... but i thnk i have come to terms with the fact that most of the people i meet arent at all sincere about anything other than themselves...... and after spending so long thinking they were, i am afraid that realizing they arent, i will be just the oppisite,,,,,, a complete hermit... i dont want to be a hermit,, i want to be me,, ,i want genuine and real people in my liufe,, but most of all... i want to be genuine and real to somebody else..........
aaahhhh... my struggle that is life...
but the ad part is,,,, i am still happt despite it all....
and oh ya,,,,,, u,,, and you know who u are,,,, i miss ya stranger.... !! take care sweetie!!
you use to be a monk, hehe thats a geat choice for life but maybe to early. and hey dont chanell your depression to "bad" people...never lose a bad thought or vibe on anyone...they got to deal with their karma anyway!
amigo. so when do we meet? im ready now.
i love you
v