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Dave

I suppose the only reason you have to be scared of it is that you might spontaneously be struck by lightning for it not being true.
-But hey, that's on you, I take no responsibilities for acts of God and such.
Dave

Oh my god, he's scared that you can cut through all his "macho bullshit"? What is he? 5? Sad thing is, he probably thought that was a real Hallmark sensitivity moment there too. "You know that I'm full of shit and the fact that I can't fool you frightens me"
Sorry I'm giving him a hard time but you deserve someone better. *shuffles feet and looks around nervously*

But...but I love her.

What're you talking about, I talk to you whenever you're online. You just aren't on as often anymore.

Jesus, no kidding. I have to stop going to my corner station because I noticed a discrepancy with their transaction fee in addition to the skyrocketing gas prices.

I've had this name for ages. I think it was this even before you left.