There are just so many variables. Flirting is just flirting... I'd never even consider thinking that was a form of cheating. I'm a bit of a makeout slut myself, so kissing and/or minor groping have always been areas I considered safe. A kiss is just a kiss. A lot of people don't agree with me there, but I think in the end it really comes down to the gut factor: If it feels wrong, it probably is.
I imagine it also depends on the nature of the relationship. Tell me any girlfriend of mine has never flirted while she was otherwise involved with me. That doesn't bother me in the slightest. If a significant other of mine knew the guilty pleasure I feel when I give a simple hug to a girl that I may have a crush on, I may end up on the couch. Far be it for me to tell a girl who she can and not go get drinks with. The strapping, young fella may invite her to happy hour after work, and it may irk the shit out of me. This does not constitute cheating, though. At least in my eyes.
I don't care who you are single, married or otherwise involved, you are going to think about some strange. Attempting to satisfy your physical urge for some strange, without prior consent, would have to define it for me.
I think cheating is constituted by any behavior that is in that grey area of kissing, touching, and serious flirting, and subsequently lying about said incident to your partner. Not telling them is another gray area, but for me if it involved bodily contact, not telling is the same as lying. Lying is all it takes to turn most any borderline situation into cheating. I guess in our relationship we tell each other everything; dreams, drunken mistakes, ect...
In other news, I we we could help you guys move, but I'm seeing a client and Ankiel66 is working. Good luck and congrats on finding a place.
to me cheating is anything that makes me feel guilty...but what the something that does NOT make me feel guilty is considered cheating by my mate? wow, that's a tough one...it's so subjective
It's actually a fine line and very much up to the people involved in the relationship. It's a hard call between being faithful and still maintaining one's own self. It also has a lot to do with jealousy which is merely the perception that someone else is getting something that you want that you in fact are not getting. I don't ever want to tell Jason that he can't flirt with girls or have crushes on other girls or anything like that because I know those are just normal parts of life and I don't want him to give up normal parts of life in order to be with me.
On the other hand, as someone who was married to one guy while being in love with another guy, I also know that seriously wanting to be with someone else is a HUGE sign that something is wrong with the relationship. I guess, to sum up, if either I or Jason ever felt like there was danger of one of us cheating, we would need to figure some things out. But since I trust both of us to admit to the potential of trouble before the actuality of trouble hits, I'm less likely to worry about him flirting with or being friends with other girls. I'm not sure that answers the question you asked, but it's an answer nonetheless.
Hey...so....I'm back and stuff. Did you miss me, beautiful lady?! I missed you tons!
So, for my first comment back...the cheating thing...
I think that a safe definition of what is cheating is anything that you know would hurt your significant other if he/she found out about it. If I go have lunch with a male co-worker, it's not cheating if I can come home and say "Oh, so today, I went to lunch with so-and-so" and know that it's not going to hurt JP in any way. If it's something you can come home and tell your partner about at the end of the day and know that he/she won't get upset or hurt... then it's ok. It's when you get into the secretive stuff and keeping things from one another that things go bad.
<3
-T