ryman

"After they had explored all the suns in the universe, and all the planets of all the suns, they realized that there was no other life in the universe, and that they were alone. And they were very happy, because they knew it was up to them to become all the things they imagined they would find..."
Lanford Wilson
"Fifth of July"

I've been so busy doing nothing this week, running around in circles at work and at home and in my own head. Finally stopping last night, going out and dancing and drinking way too much and becoming this sloppy, emotional, smiling mess, was the greatest relief. It felt like holding my breath for days on end and finally letting go, exhaling until there was nothing left inside me except sleep. Weird, vivid dreams that shade into daytime, waking up and not quite knowing what counts as real, and all day having brightly-lit flashbacks to something only half-remembered.
and the feeling that the evening sun could dissolve me.
sometimes it all gets too much, and most times, it's okay in the end.
I love the insignificant facts of the day: a perfect cup of tea. The cheese on toast I had for lunch, reading the same streets each day on the bus and seeing them change almost imperceptibly, the brace and shiver of walking out first thing in the morning, half-smiling at strangers and getting a half-smile back. The smell of Quinces...
Some days I'm just a sentimental fool.