runelateralus

I think it is time to get a little realistic here...

I am turning 23 tomarrow. I have a bachelors. Yet, I am earning less than $400 a month. Why?

Cause I think I need to finally admit I am not talented enough. That the past 4 years of my life that I dedicated to animation was nothing more than a waste of time or effort.

Am I good? Sure. But amazing? No. The art test made me realize that. I will not ever get a job in animation/video games. From what the people told me...the art test should have taken 6 hours. Why did it take me 8 hours more than it should have? Because I am a shitty artist...I am a shitty animator. Whatever made me think I could do something in this field (especially when only 9 people in the past two years at my college ever got a fucking job) is beyond me now. And even if I get an interview someplace else...what if it isn't in the area? How will I be able to get there for the interview? Better yet, how can I move there with no money?

It was my dream to do something I wanted to do in either animation or game design. Too bad that it was nothing but that. A dream.

The way things are, I can barely pay student loans and my credit card on time. Plus, add a future car in the line, it is quite obvious I am not going to survive as a failure of an animator.

Now I have to figure out a new path in life. Hopefully this one won't end up in the shitter like my first choice.

At least next year I won't have to waste money on that webspace again.

I will still be attempting for the time being, but I am sure I won't find anything.

UPDATE: It is amazing how a kick in the nuts, while painful, can really help you think somewhat better. Though my nuts hurt...and I think I am going to slash someone's tires....

I don't know the exact path my life will be headed...but I got time to think about it.