Real life goes in cycles. You get to coast along for a while with everything being fine, then you spend some time where nothing seems to work out. I hope you get to coast soon.
there is absolutely nothing interesting about my life that would warrant an entire reality tv series.
unless they want to put me in situations and create some kind of alternate reality. that might be interesting.
and my little black heart turned black after I realized that I am completely unstable and undecided in terms of having relationships with men so I'm just going to shut myself away. for now. and it's been shattered by a few guys here and there who have been utterly disappointing...I fear no one can handle my emotional intensity and a constant need for love and attention the way my ex-fiancee could.
the fact that you find me to a fascinating person is very complimentary since I find you to be one of the most interesting people on the site. even having as little information as I have about you.
and I agree. men and women are fucked up in many ways but when the right ones collide it just works. I just seem to have bad luck finding the guy who is perfect 'for me.' maybe it's because I exoect too much. I don't know. but I do know that my ex was perfect 'for me' in many ways so I know it's possible to find the kind of love and devotion he was willing to offer.
we were together for six years but I spent many of those years feeling like my spirit was being supressed in some way. he was jealous and controlling. but he did turn out to be my best friend. but I slowly realized that's all he was. basically, I didn't find him to be sexually attractive and that caused a lot of problems. so I ended it. make sense?
you could give the & a try. I really don't know. they really don't let you do any fancy things with your name around here. which is in a way good because think of the ridiculous things people would try to pull.
your other options would be just to call ypurself 'rich' or 'SJ.'
but if you HAVE to use the rich_n_famous I guess I'll just have to deal.
re: relationship. it wasn't just the bad sex that was the problem, but it was one of the main problems for sure. and it wasn't like he was a bad performer or anything. I just wasn't turned on by him. at all. it was a complete nightmare. I was frustrated and he became insecure as a result of the constant rejection. but honest I'm not like some kind of sex-obsessed person. there really was one other major issue, which was his raging jealousy and need to control every aspect of my life. I lost a lot of my friends during the relationship. lucky for me I've been able to resume the very same friendships I thought I lost forever. so yeah. that's a lot to do with the breakup as well. sorry for writing so much! ha. but you are a seemingly good listener. you also remind me a lot of a good friend I've had 'online' for the past three years.
At least they're the better emo bands. Check the best of mixes thread, she's got some good taste, and she plays guitar, is a 4th year english lit major, and wants to be a music journalist.
