roguemind

This is one of those nights where I feel all weirdy peridy. Yeah i make u words. Anyways. Weird. I find my self missing my ex. I find myself wishing i was in some other life situation. This one is not really bad. But it reminds me of what my Ex-wife(i hate saying ex-wife) told me once when it started to go south. I have this feeling of contentment. I know what the word means. As in what the dictionary tells me it means. But the way she meant it and the way i mean it is this. Blah. Not unhappy really. Its like your in a rut but nothing bad is happing(nothing that important anyways) so you just keep driving in that rut. Like your waiting for something. Its a good rut. Stable for the most part with the occasional bump. But is safe. A facade of dull and muted happiness where if you where not paying attention you could probably stay for the rest of your life and not be to terribly upset about it. But you know it. When you think about it. That your still looking. And my rut is deep. There are others in this car that seem to be happy with this rut. They seem to love it for one reason while realizing inside that they are in the wrong car driving down the wrong road. But what do you do? Do you ruin their trip? It possible that this car ride is there last in their mind and if this car breaks down they are done. Or maybe my mock satisfaction with the ride runs so deep that im afraid of any other cars or roads.
*shrugs*
-me