so i went sailing off the highway today.
yeah. so i hate winter and this is precisely why. i get on 91 south this morning, and as anyone in the area knows, it was barely snowing. there was a little slush on the ground. no big deal, right? so i putter along doing an extremely cautious 35 mph when suddenly the car is spinning. and i don't just mean, "oh no i turned 90 degrees." i'm talking full on "holy shit i'm sliding sideways and now backwards and now sideways towards those trees. perhpas i should vocalize to a deity."
on top of this, my three year old daughter was in the car. so we're not fucking around here.
thankfully, THANKFULLY i came to a stop about two feet from several trees down at the bottom of a hill and sustained no damage to car or person. a woman pulled over to see if we were dead, and she hung out until the cops arrived. the cops called triple A and said it would be twenty minutes.
gig and i sat in our somewhat tilted car and read books and talked and laughed about how the branches were all around the car. real fucking funny, right?
an hour and a half passed.
finally the tow truck shows up and does some right fancy winching and winches us out of the ditch. then he charged me 132 dollars and the cop gave me a ticket for "failure to stay in my lane."
the double good news is that triple A reimbursed us and the ticket was actually just a written warning. i just wanted to make you gasp a little at the end of that last paragraph. i'm manipulative like that.
so yeah. rough morning. and i hear friday we're supposed to get a fucking foot or so. here's the thing: i think any weather where you have to put on special clothes just so you don't DIE when you go outside is weather i want nothing to fucking do with. you don't see me putting on scuba gear and going underwater or fricking space gear and going on the motherfucking moon, do you!? then why am i going to suit up and play in the freezing cold wetness in the vain attempt to make a man out of the shit?
cause i work at a preschool, that's why. and unless it's cold enough, i am legally obligated to dress my little demons and bring them out into the wintery wonderland. and so, mere minutes after arriving at work, late from a snow mishap, i'm out making nice with the miserable, cold, wet, white death inducing shit.
expect this mood until may. it will return in june when i start bitching about the heat.
yeah. so i hate winter and this is precisely why. i get on 91 south this morning, and as anyone in the area knows, it was barely snowing. there was a little slush on the ground. no big deal, right? so i putter along doing an extremely cautious 35 mph when suddenly the car is spinning. and i don't just mean, "oh no i turned 90 degrees." i'm talking full on "holy shit i'm sliding sideways and now backwards and now sideways towards those trees. perhpas i should vocalize to a deity."
on top of this, my three year old daughter was in the car. so we're not fucking around here.
thankfully, THANKFULLY i came to a stop about two feet from several trees down at the bottom of a hill and sustained no damage to car or person. a woman pulled over to see if we were dead, and she hung out until the cops arrived. the cops called triple A and said it would be twenty minutes.
gig and i sat in our somewhat tilted car and read books and talked and laughed about how the branches were all around the car. real fucking funny, right?
an hour and a half passed.
finally the tow truck shows up and does some right fancy winching and winches us out of the ditch. then he charged me 132 dollars and the cop gave me a ticket for "failure to stay in my lane."
the double good news is that triple A reimbursed us and the ticket was actually just a written warning. i just wanted to make you gasp a little at the end of that last paragraph. i'm manipulative like that.
so yeah. rough morning. and i hear friday we're supposed to get a fucking foot or so. here's the thing: i think any weather where you have to put on special clothes just so you don't DIE when you go outside is weather i want nothing to fucking do with. you don't see me putting on scuba gear and going underwater or fricking space gear and going on the motherfucking moon, do you!? then why am i going to suit up and play in the freezing cold wetness in the vain attempt to make a man out of the shit?
cause i work at a preschool, that's why. and unless it's cold enough, i am legally obligated to dress my little demons and bring them out into the wintery wonderland. and so, mere minutes after arriving at work, late from a snow mishap, i'm out making nice with the miserable, cold, wet, white death inducing shit.
expect this mood until may. it will return in june when i start bitching about the heat.
holy crap. kids laugh at things and you're like...yea...ah...ha...ha...and grin like the devil has taken hold.
lol
i know the feeling.
somebody needs to move south so they dont need to see snow anymore. to like....florida. so we can light things on fire while our kids run around like crazy people.