rexx

good morning




i haven't yet gotten about of bed.
sometimes it just feels so damn good to roll around
enjoying the feel of soft blankets on flesh.
i've been gazing out the window at the snow clinging to the tips of the pine boughs
and the couple in the window two streets off
i catch perfect glimpses of them quite often, from my bedroom and my kitchen
and i catch them catching glimpses into my windows as well.
i don't mind.
the house was empty for years and i would stare out at it thinking how perfectly aligned its windows were with my own
and wondered if anyone ever moved in,
how the unintentional, or perhaps intentional, voyeurism would ensue.
i wondered if i would mind but i do not, with them
though i have no idea who they are i see them bustle about at dinner time and the vibrations that shimmy across the way are happy and warm,
almost inviting.
and i must say, i like what they've done with the place.





i had odd dreams last night which i cannot recall
but the odd dream residue lingers on the edges of my mind
not too heavily, i feel i can shake it with a strong pot of coffee which i am eagerly anticipating.

have you ever had a dream so disturbing in whatever way that it affects your mood the entire next day even when you cannot remember the minutest detail about it?

i suppose these things happen to everyone.


awhile back i had a dream, the details of which are dull and insignificant except one.
out of nowhere there is a small girl was walking by with her head down,
pulling a wagon full of fake rats and bats.
"i like your rats and bats"
i said to her.
she stopped, looked over with a confident smile, said simply:
"thank you",
returned her eyes to the floor, and walked on.


it was tiny but i loved it and i will never forget it.


work at the warehouse is increasingly soul-sucking.
there are no windows and it is absolutely freezing.
the coworkers are sort of miserable and nothing ever changes.
day in, day out, the work is exactly the same.
there are some moments i enjoy
like stirring the hot, buttery caramel corn, savoring those minutes of warmth
and watching corn syrup drip from the ladle slowly,
thinking how it looks marvelously like a jellyfish.

it could be worse. but it could also be better.
in the meantime, it is money in my pocket.

though i do request off frequently due to my eternal travel bug infection, i rarely CALL off of work. however, i took a mental health day last week because i haven't left town in almost a month and could not fathom another day in that place.

i spent my day eating french toast and bacon, drinking extra spicy bloody marys and coffee, reading, cross-word puzzling, and enjoying sweet nothingness. it was rainy out, and it was perfect.




of course, enjoyed plenty of sweet leaf, too.




in contrast to that little onslaught of negativity i just spewed due to shitty work,
i must say that i love my bar tending job.
i hate saying "i feel blessed" because as nodawn says:
"it sounds all jesusy"
but it has in fact been a blessing of of sorts both financially and because i finally like what i'm doing.
hopefully once i get some more experience i can turn this into a more than one day a week thing.

perhaps the most amusing contrast:
at my warehouse job i'm in full winter garb all day including hat, scarf, snow boots, and coat, and barely able to move freely because of all the layers (yet, i still freeze).
at my other job, bar tending underwear afternoons, i am toasty as can be, and i wear things like this:






if you find yourself in pittsburgh, hit me up to see if i'm working.
i would be happy to fill you with beer, whiskey, and maybe some good conversation



my fourth semester of online classes start on monday and i am completely unprepared.
like haven't even bought textbooks unprepared.
my heart just isn't in it right now.
i will endure but i will not let it consume me like i did in the fall
i do not force my heart to do what it does not want.
i sensed this feeling coming when i scheduled, so i'm only taking my last three elective courses to make it breezy
it should be a very manageable and informatively interesting semester at least.
next semester should be my last in this short branch of the education process
so i'll deal with how i doled out my courses when the time comes.
and then who knows what i will do.
'no fuckin thang.



i said i hadn't been out of town in awhile but this week i'm going to philadelphia and then to richmond for shooting endeavors and i couldn't be a happier rexxy about it. details in a future blog, i have been rambling your asses off and my own and the need for breakfast and coffee is surging. thursday i will be back at the pub slinging booze and that leaves me only one day of corn syrup jellyfish. viva!!



hope your day is radical, love biscuits.
stay metal.
don't take any guff from those fucking swine.
and never underestimate the power of dancing in your underwear.




till' next time..
<3 Rexx