retsin

DILDO!!


update: my mouth hurts. damn wisdom teeth. two more days of school, three more midterms...and then the fundraiser..i'm excited ofr it. and for toronto for a week.



change of season, change of mind. celebrate the passing of (to)day, wipe away the presence of another memory created(and another gone by). the further away i move (from this time) the smaller it all becomes. those days, those nights, that bed, this nightmare. when does it begin, the re ticking of the clock, or did it just never end. continuity. i'm rolling on a diffeent track. broken to pieces, with so many yield signs along the way. predetermined finish, yet an unmarked day. hand me that calendar, let me circle all the days of interest. are you bored yet? moving right along.

apologies. rewriting your words in different ink won't take away that they have been recylced, they have lost their integrity, and you have lost yours. i love yous spoken into the night, captured by a heart aching for attention. isn't that the problem then, that fragile people are willing to put themselves into battle time and time again. less armour or more? is it ever worth it? i'd rather not think that way. you and i, unmatched, you in overlapping coats of steel, me barling holding on to my sword. how many years have passed since i first felt you, heard you, let you in. break them down, the walls you helped me build. please, won't you lend me a hand? you are part of the skilled few. i was once unaware that cement felt like that against skin. and now you have buried me (barely) alive. i'm not drowning. i learned to hold my breath years ago. when you first placed your hands around my neck. it's the power of deception, and the skill of deflection.

tonights music...cat power.

............................................






i swear i studied tonight.

i also did this