Well update on my life I suppose. survived one of the worst weeks of my life only to start off the following week with the worst head cold ever >< at least the love of my life is back home where I can be with her...the only problem is im still not sure if i'm actually "with" her or not....
im really not sure what kind of emotions are running through my body...joy, sadness, hatred, love, insanity they are all starting to mould together into one huge headache...i wish life could just be a little more simple? What happened to love like in the movies? Two people fall in love...they get married..have children...live happy lives..sure there are problems on the horizon but thats life..they work through it....it seems in this day in age love is more of an abstract concept that has different meanings to each person...to me on the other hand it means staying faithful and loyal to the one you love through the best times and the worst times..being there by their side no matter the outcome and letting them know you'll always be there for them no matter what. To others however it seems to be more or less a "what can I get out of it" situation...
oh well I'll just keep marching forward into the storm however...don't get me wrong...i'm well aware she loves me and that the situation life's thrown at us is indeed a tricky one...but I just dont know how long I can last anymore...it's like being lost in a desert wasteland and having a drop of mirage appear in the distance of a beautiful oasis....you want it more than life itself and yet no matter how hard you want to believe it to be true the sad fact is that its only an illusion...but I suppose looking at that beautiful illusion as the last few minutes of your life pass by is better than nothing isn't it?
Regardless of the outcome and the shadow of doom following me I will fight until my last breath to make this work...I've never cared about or loved anyone besides my family as much as I love her...and if in the end that means she has to walk away from me to be happy with someone else...well I can at least say I gave it everything I possibly could...
At least I'll always be walking with this in my pocket <3 I will love you forever
im really not sure what kind of emotions are running through my body...joy, sadness, hatred, love, insanity they are all starting to mould together into one huge headache...i wish life could just be a little more simple? What happened to love like in the movies? Two people fall in love...they get married..have children...live happy lives..sure there are problems on the horizon but thats life..they work through it....it seems in this day in age love is more of an abstract concept that has different meanings to each person...to me on the other hand it means staying faithful and loyal to the one you love through the best times and the worst times..being there by their side no matter the outcome and letting them know you'll always be there for them no matter what. To others however it seems to be more or less a "what can I get out of it" situation...
oh well I'll just keep marching forward into the storm however...don't get me wrong...i'm well aware she loves me and that the situation life's thrown at us is indeed a tricky one...but I just dont know how long I can last anymore...it's like being lost in a desert wasteland and having a drop of mirage appear in the distance of a beautiful oasis....you want it more than life itself and yet no matter how hard you want to believe it to be true the sad fact is that its only an illusion...but I suppose looking at that beautiful illusion as the last few minutes of your life pass by is better than nothing isn't it?
Regardless of the outcome and the shadow of doom following me I will fight until my last breath to make this work...I've never cared about or loved anyone besides my family as much as I love her...and if in the end that means she has to walk away from me to be happy with someone else...well I can at least say I gave it everything I possibly could...
At least I'll always be walking with this in my pocket <3 I will love you forever