rebeldaisy

i am so craving this person. i want to contact him so badly. just to talk. but i promised myself ages ago that i wouldn't. why? because he is no good for me. not as a friend, not as anything. it makes me mad that even though i logically know this, i still have some weird desire to talk to him. i know i'm not gonna give in and call him. i know if i did, that he'd atleast pretend to be happy to hear from me. but i'm not gonna. i have to keep telling myself this. because i am impulsive. because i change my mind every other second. because i listen to my heart not to my head. because sometimes i just want to believe that things can be different, that things will be the way i think they should be.

have you ever felt this way?

ok now that i got that off of my chest i think i'm going to go to sleep.

and when i wake up tony will be here! he's probably gonna get here around 1 in the morning, but i'm just gonna sleep until then.

my apartment is so fucking cold. brr...and i don't even have the air on.