Icried I laughed I embraced. Your word smiting is divine and when I read yourwords I feel as if I am witnessing the experience. My heart is with you alwaysand I adore you for your candid upfront realty. Much love to you and for you mydearest one. @reaper I Thank you for sharing and Hope that your days are brighter and your heart is warmed with joy and laughter in the days to come. Love you<3
I am so happy you are receiving the help you need and I am so sorry it took this to get it. I suffered for a long time at the hands of mental illness, and I was not taken seriously in the medical system until it became "severe" and THEN they started caring/helping. Very unfortunate :/
You and I are very much alike. I'm glad you are still here to tell your story! I spent a lot of my teen years in mental hospitals and a few years back I got off Lithium which i was on along a cocktail of others for 13 years. Anyway, being open and unashamed is exactly how you should be, youre beautiful inside and out
:( (ill break this up into 2 parts so it isnt one enormous wall of text) :...( That made me teary eyed, I'm so glad you are okay *huggs huggs huggs* I have attempted suicide numerous times and i was hospitalized for an "attempted suicide" which was actually an accidental overdose. Ironic that an accident got me hospitalized in a mental ward instead of my actual attempts, no one believed me except the doctor they assigned to me that pumped my stomach (that he told me i was lucky not to remember). He was in a neck brace when i was finally lucid after a few days and i jokingly asked him "I didn't do that to ya, did i? haha" he looked to the side and said "well anyway...." and changed the subject, so yeah i'm pretty sure i did it which i still feel bad about over 10 years later because he was SUPER nice and he saved me in more ways than one. I haven't made an attempt in a few years but i still think about suicide sometimes, i assume that will never go away so i try to deal with it and think of something else and keep myself busy. I feel that i can't talk to my partner about it because when i'm depressed and down on myself it makes him feel bad and think its his fault, i'm sure its my fault he feels that way on occasion because when i'm manic i can be really mean and play the blame game when i feel like he is emotionally attacking me when he just wants to talk about our feelings and our relationship (but he sometimes is forceful about it which makes me go into withdraw and defense mode).
Once again, i am SO glad you are okay, it may come across creepy because we don't know each other in person but i really like you a lot and think we have a CRAZY amount of things in common (pun intended). I would be heart broken if you would have succeeded :( When i start thinking of suicide i feel like no one would care and that i'm doing everyone a favor if i remove myself from their lives, but people DO care SO REMEMBER THAT! It may not mean much because i'm pretty much a stranger but i care and you are a fun delightful person so i KNOW that other people care about you as well and you would break their poor lil hearts if you were no longer around. We both have pets we love as well and they depend on us, it isn't fair to them either to leave them without a mommy that they trust and rely on. Some people only attempt suicide once and they succeed, we have both done it multiple times yet we are still around, i take that as a huge sign that this world needs us and doesn't want us to leave yet. Please stay on this silly earth as long as you can, i know its really hard and it sucks really bad a lot of the time but the bad times made the good times that much sweeter. You deserve to exist and be happy, and us fellow CooCoo Nesters love you and need you, i don't want to be in a world that had no one else like us in it *more internet huggs*.
I am so glad you are getting help. I also bipolar disorder and know the constant struggle it is. I am lucky enough to have an employer that treat people with mental illness fairly. I get a generous amount of sick leave each year and my employer never asks why we are taking sick and has made it clear mental health days are allowed. I hate the medication I am on because it causes me to drowsy, but I am fortunate enough that dampens the worse of my illness. I applaud you for your bravery in talking about your illness.
I only follow you, I don't know you. But your openness about such an important issue is important for others to read that might need help and I appreciate it. Thank you so much for sharing! Every word was beautiful. I'm glad you're getting help and are still with us. ❤
