Hello SG Folks and Neighbors,
I hope this finds you all well and good.
I am thinking about breaking up with BG again. She is a wonderful person, somebody of depth and character and a hottie to boot but I think that we aren't perfect for one another. And the truth is, I want to be married right now.
Which is, of course, fucked up - at least it sounds fucked up to me. But I had to face this reality recently - I am ready to have that part of my life settled and done with so I can concentrate on the things that are really important to me. I want a family, even if its just she and me and dogs and cats.
Okay, my wife to be:
Honest, loyal, considerate, a great laugher, smart, passionate about the things she does and the people in her life. Fully down with my kink, lets just get that out of the way. Interesting looking, not a Barbie doll - I want a face I can constantly find new things in. Somebody who will call bullshit on me when its appropriate. Somebody more grounded than I am. Eager and vivacious.
BG has a lot of that but its not perfect by any means. Im starting to feel like getting back together was an unfortunate bid for security over happiness for me.
The other day I went through my old journal entries, collecting my old Taoist Thoughts for my group. And I look at how together I used to be.
I allowed myself to ravel.
I hope that this finds you all well and good. Nothing but love for all y'all.
take it light,
ph
Taoist thought of the day: Heal yourself with music.
Cat report: Cali is staging an all out food protest. She has been so big for so long that we have cut her food dramatically. Now every time you go in the kitchen she mewls and paws at the cabinet where the cat food lives. I feel bad for her - I think she really would rather be out killing shit in the woods behind the house, and since she can't she fills that void with food (yes, cat pop psychology but I believe it). I stand by my decision to keep them indoors.
Factoid: I took hapkido for years during high school. At one point during a demonstration of choke holds, my teacher rendered me completely unconscious.
I hope this finds you all well and good.
I am thinking about breaking up with BG again. She is a wonderful person, somebody of depth and character and a hottie to boot but I think that we aren't perfect for one another. And the truth is, I want to be married right now.
Which is, of course, fucked up - at least it sounds fucked up to me. But I had to face this reality recently - I am ready to have that part of my life settled and done with so I can concentrate on the things that are really important to me. I want a family, even if its just she and me and dogs and cats.
Okay, my wife to be:
Honest, loyal, considerate, a great laugher, smart, passionate about the things she does and the people in her life. Fully down with my kink, lets just get that out of the way. Interesting looking, not a Barbie doll - I want a face I can constantly find new things in. Somebody who will call bullshit on me when its appropriate. Somebody more grounded than I am. Eager and vivacious.
BG has a lot of that but its not perfect by any means. Im starting to feel like getting back together was an unfortunate bid for security over happiness for me.
The other day I went through my old journal entries, collecting my old Taoist Thoughts for my group. And I look at how together I used to be.
I allowed myself to ravel.
I hope that this finds you all well and good. Nothing but love for all y'all.
take it light,
ph
Taoist thought of the day: Heal yourself with music.
Cat report: Cali is staging an all out food protest. She has been so big for so long that we have cut her food dramatically. Now every time you go in the kitchen she mewls and paws at the cabinet where the cat food lives. I feel bad for her - I think she really would rather be out killing shit in the woods behind the house, and since she can't she fills that void with food (yes, cat pop psychology but I believe it). I stand by my decision to keep them indoors.
Factoid: I took hapkido for years during high school. At one point during a demonstration of choke holds, my teacher rendered me completely unconscious.
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I wish my friends would do that about BG - I think the majority of them are all imagining her down there.
hope all is well
take it light,
ph
things are well and most people i think are thinking about it. but i just can't. even though i showed and am unashamed of my vagina in my set but i don't look at anyone else's.