Stream of consciousness...
Kat called me, she was drunk and happy because she just broke a 5 month dry spell. She is fun when she is satisfied-- doesn't even bitch about my still being in love with Mawii. Sarah has the cher workout tape: we ALL love the pony! Kat called me a nympho. I am unhappy, sober and lonely. Alana says I should move back to the east coast. Boston. I say no. I had a dream last night about being in Boston and corrupting Catholics. I had a friend who was Catholic. I took his virginity, introduced him to pot and porn, then got back together with the Mawii. I felt bad about that, I guess, but really, he asked me to, so whatever. I told him ahead of time I was a mess. I should get a disclaimer tattooed on my ass so that anyone who sees it knows. I am the demon-bearing bitch, Lilith. Mawii bears the mark of Cain. If you read Hesse, you know what I mean. At once, we knew our destinies intertwined. He even has a scar on his forehead. I think of Cain. I also think of Harry Potter. And then I wonder about the correlation.
When I was 6, there were brat children who lived next door to me. They had a lot of crusifixes in their house, which really freaked me out. They informed me that I was going to go to hell. I was godless-- I was never godless.... They watched a lot of disney channel, unaware of their hypocracy as they indulged in the idolatry of American media. The girl was a year older than I am. I wonder how many kids she has squeezed out thus far. I had an awesome ninja turtles sweatsuit. Damn was it sporty. I cut my own hair and blamed it on her. I sucked. I still cut my own hair, but I try not to lie these days.
My childhood friends were teenage moms. 3 of them. One of them was 15. I was really glad that she gave up boys after that. I wonder how Jessica is doing. She was so tiny, with such a big belly last time I saw her. I wondered how her body could support it. Big old me, I could probably deal with the weight shift, but I try to keep my womb empty.
I was nearly 17 the first time I kissed someone seriously. It was the Mawii. He walked me home and we made out in front of the place where the handicapped adults lived. I lost my virginity 3 days later when I called him on a whim, right when I got home from cheering camp. Yeah, I am too easy. Fucking nympho. Not really. Many had tried and failed where he succeeded. I just woke up that morning and knew it was time. It wasn't even an option. We were watching Jurassic Park. That was a dumb movie. So was Jeepers Creepers. The whole time I just wished the characters would die because they were so damn annoying. Fuck, if I could I would have killed them myself.
I hate it when girl get really scared at movies and make whiney nasaley sounds as they grip into the closest boy-like thing around. I hate whiney girls. Maybe I just hate girls. Period. It's always so much easier to just chill with guys. Trouble is I can't really trust my guy friends. Too many times they proved an affinity for making passes at me. You can't trust someone who isn't forthcoming about his intentions. Girls are a bit competitive too. And they are harder to get to know-- very cliquish. Alana and I became best friends because I was good at geometry. By sitting next to me, she passed. It wasn't laziness. She REALLY needed my help. One day we are going to open a topless porno fudgeshop health club. I am going to have to figure the books, though. She can make the site.
Alana called me today too. She hates college. I kind of miss UMaine. Especially the U part. I wasn't a big fan of the "Maine" part. Eventually I will go back to school. But I am going to take my time there. I need my financial independance. Not going to take my time quite so much there. It's really cool to get to know my dad and stuff though. I didn't see as much of him between ages 9 and 18. Partly because of jailtime and partly because of the whole bicostal split household thing. I am opposed to marijuana being illegal. And if I could go back in time, Tipper Gore would be SO dead. I would knock off a few others while I was at it, but she bothers me. Al, however is HOT. I love nerdy males, especially when they are slightly femme. Behind Mawii's glasses lies amazing eyelashes.
It's amazing to see my dad's relationship with current girlfriend not getting caustic after the first year. I like Young a lot. I think I liked Carmen the best, though. Carmen was a tiny, hispanic-chumash-hungarian beauty. Her occupation was nurse. She was an artist whose house was filled with feathers and bones and stuff she found. She liked Harleys, hiking and had a bellybutton ring and a lot of candles with Catholic saints on them, even though she was far from being christian. Everything about Carmen was strange and fabulous. I am glad they broke up, though. She didn't know how to deal with my dad though. Very few do. My mom certianly didn't, though jailtime infidelity is not good for any relationship.... I was born because of the pill. I never had siblings because of Norplant.
Yewleh is gone, you know. He packed up a suitcase full of gummy bears and took a UFO out of here back in 1991. He hardly ever even checks his emails these days. Maybe the new kids on the block drove him out, or maybe he just gave up. If I were god, I might have left too. I would like to fornicate with God. Anyone who made THIS world must be a good, kinky fuck. The Virgin Mary- yeah right, we ALL know she enjoyed that shit. Why wouldn't she? "Promise you won't tell Joseph?" Damnit Janet! Slut.
The self-checkout thing at Home Depot is fucking scary. Something about it screams distopia. I wouldn't mind a brave now world, though. The feelies sound nice, but it WOULD suck to be color coded. I have never been able to successfully categorize myself, so that would be hard. Prolly just send me to Jezabels. Bastards.
Yeah, I'm surviving. There is so much stuff I need to do, and not nearly enough time. And the nights are lonely. I have to go to bed now and I have to go to bed alone. There is no Mawii softness to snuggle into.
Kat called me, she was drunk and happy because she just broke a 5 month dry spell. She is fun when she is satisfied-- doesn't even bitch about my still being in love with Mawii. Sarah has the cher workout tape: we ALL love the pony! Kat called me a nympho. I am unhappy, sober and lonely. Alana says I should move back to the east coast. Boston. I say no. I had a dream last night about being in Boston and corrupting Catholics. I had a friend who was Catholic. I took his virginity, introduced him to pot and porn, then got back together with the Mawii. I felt bad about that, I guess, but really, he asked me to, so whatever. I told him ahead of time I was a mess. I should get a disclaimer tattooed on my ass so that anyone who sees it knows. I am the demon-bearing bitch, Lilith. Mawii bears the mark of Cain. If you read Hesse, you know what I mean. At once, we knew our destinies intertwined. He even has a scar on his forehead. I think of Cain. I also think of Harry Potter. And then I wonder about the correlation.
When I was 6, there were brat children who lived next door to me. They had a lot of crusifixes in their house, which really freaked me out. They informed me that I was going to go to hell. I was godless-- I was never godless.... They watched a lot of disney channel, unaware of their hypocracy as they indulged in the idolatry of American media. The girl was a year older than I am. I wonder how many kids she has squeezed out thus far. I had an awesome ninja turtles sweatsuit. Damn was it sporty. I cut my own hair and blamed it on her. I sucked. I still cut my own hair, but I try not to lie these days.
My childhood friends were teenage moms. 3 of them. One of them was 15. I was really glad that she gave up boys after that. I wonder how Jessica is doing. She was so tiny, with such a big belly last time I saw her. I wondered how her body could support it. Big old me, I could probably deal with the weight shift, but I try to keep my womb empty.
I was nearly 17 the first time I kissed someone seriously. It was the Mawii. He walked me home and we made out in front of the place where the handicapped adults lived. I lost my virginity 3 days later when I called him on a whim, right when I got home from cheering camp. Yeah, I am too easy. Fucking nympho. Not really. Many had tried and failed where he succeeded. I just woke up that morning and knew it was time. It wasn't even an option. We were watching Jurassic Park. That was a dumb movie. So was Jeepers Creepers. The whole time I just wished the characters would die because they were so damn annoying. Fuck, if I could I would have killed them myself.
I hate it when girl get really scared at movies and make whiney nasaley sounds as they grip into the closest boy-like thing around. I hate whiney girls. Maybe I just hate girls. Period. It's always so much easier to just chill with guys. Trouble is I can't really trust my guy friends. Too many times they proved an affinity for making passes at me. You can't trust someone who isn't forthcoming about his intentions. Girls are a bit competitive too. And they are harder to get to know-- very cliquish. Alana and I became best friends because I was good at geometry. By sitting next to me, she passed. It wasn't laziness. She REALLY needed my help. One day we are going to open a topless porno fudgeshop health club. I am going to have to figure the books, though. She can make the site.
Alana called me today too. She hates college. I kind of miss UMaine. Especially the U part. I wasn't a big fan of the "Maine" part. Eventually I will go back to school. But I am going to take my time there. I need my financial independance. Not going to take my time quite so much there. It's really cool to get to know my dad and stuff though. I didn't see as much of him between ages 9 and 18. Partly because of jailtime and partly because of the whole bicostal split household thing. I am opposed to marijuana being illegal. And if I could go back in time, Tipper Gore would be SO dead. I would knock off a few others while I was at it, but she bothers me. Al, however is HOT. I love nerdy males, especially when they are slightly femme. Behind Mawii's glasses lies amazing eyelashes.
It's amazing to see my dad's relationship with current girlfriend not getting caustic after the first year. I like Young a lot. I think I liked Carmen the best, though. Carmen was a tiny, hispanic-chumash-hungarian beauty. Her occupation was nurse. She was an artist whose house was filled with feathers and bones and stuff she found. She liked Harleys, hiking and had a bellybutton ring and a lot of candles with Catholic saints on them, even though she was far from being christian. Everything about Carmen was strange and fabulous. I am glad they broke up, though. She didn't know how to deal with my dad though. Very few do. My mom certianly didn't, though jailtime infidelity is not good for any relationship.... I was born because of the pill. I never had siblings because of Norplant.
Yewleh is gone, you know. He packed up a suitcase full of gummy bears and took a UFO out of here back in 1991. He hardly ever even checks his emails these days. Maybe the new kids on the block drove him out, or maybe he just gave up. If I were god, I might have left too. I would like to fornicate with God. Anyone who made THIS world must be a good, kinky fuck. The Virgin Mary- yeah right, we ALL know she enjoyed that shit. Why wouldn't she? "Promise you won't tell Joseph?" Damnit Janet! Slut.
The self-checkout thing at Home Depot is fucking scary. Something about it screams distopia. I wouldn't mind a brave now world, though. The feelies sound nice, but it WOULD suck to be color coded. I have never been able to successfully categorize myself, so that would be hard. Prolly just send me to Jezabels. Bastards.
Yeah, I'm surviving. There is so much stuff I need to do, and not nearly enough time. And the nights are lonely. I have to go to bed now and I have to go to bed alone. There is no Mawii softness to snuggle into.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
finally someone else on SG that lives in Harbor City!
anyways...so are you really going to be working for Vidal? or is that a witty answer to a serious question? because yesterday was the last day of me working for "the man" and I want to get a cut and color done...