I haven't been sleeping well lately. In those dark hours before dawn, thoughts run through my head like little lab mice in a maze. But the kind of lab mice that haven't been introduced to the cheese yet. They run around in all directions, with no idea where they are really going. Every once and awhile they seem to take off down a path, only to veer off again in the wrong direction. That is what my mind is like in the dark hours before dawn.
Yesterday I cried in the bathroom when a patient of mine went home. I don't know what is wrong with me.
The bright shiny spot on my horizon is the fact that hopefully i will see some of my favourite people this weekend. I have no idea what we are doing or where we are going (if we are going anywhere) but I know that the thought of moments with
these amazing women is a tiny thread by which I am dangling before falling apart. That and coming home to the best friend I could ever ask for and being able to laugh despite the chaos of the day.
My twin pointed out to me the fact that I must have lost myself somewhere along the line if I stopped reading. I am a book whore. My entire life, with the except of the past 6 months, I have lived and breathed books. The written word makes me feel at home. When did that stop? And why? The answers scare me because I know the answer but I don't know what to do to change it.
Ok, enough with the emo self involved crap. Here are some things I am looking forward to:
The birth of this little butterbean due into this world April 26th. (Edited to note that this is NOT me who is pregnant, rather my best friend from university who's baby boy Jayden, who's arrival is being eagerly awaited by his "aunty" Steph!!!)
Cessnaqt and 4Gvr moving into their new amazing house so I can come relax in their new bathtub
Being able to sit and do nothing in Eyre Square in November
Perhaps going to Prom this year if I can get my work schedule sorted in my favor.
PRIDE
Going to NYC to visit my twin once he starts classes at Columbia. Freaking Columbia! I can't believe that kid is going to an Ivy League school. The mind boggles.
Yesterday I cried in the bathroom when a patient of mine went home. I don't know what is wrong with me.
The bright shiny spot on my horizon is the fact that hopefully i will see some of my favourite people this weekend. I have no idea what we are doing or where we are going (if we are going anywhere) but I know that the thought of moments with
these amazing women is a tiny thread by which I am dangling before falling apart. That and coming home to the best friend I could ever ask for and being able to laugh despite the chaos of the day.
My twin pointed out to me the fact that I must have lost myself somewhere along the line if I stopped reading. I am a book whore. My entire life, with the except of the past 6 months, I have lived and breathed books. The written word makes me feel at home. When did that stop? And why? The answers scare me because I know the answer but I don't know what to do to change it.
Ok, enough with the emo self involved crap. Here are some things I am looking forward to:
The birth of this little butterbean due into this world April 26th. (Edited to note that this is NOT me who is pregnant, rather my best friend from university who's baby boy Jayden, who's arrival is being eagerly awaited by his "aunty" Steph!!!)
Cessnaqt and 4Gvr moving into their new amazing house so I can come relax in their new bathtub
Being able to sit and do nothing in Eyre Square in November
Perhaps going to Prom this year if I can get my work schedule sorted in my favor.
PRIDE
Going to NYC to visit my twin once he starts classes at Columbia. Freaking Columbia! I can't believe that kid is going to an Ivy League school. The mind boggles.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
johnmc:
Either one.
omeganightmare:
Thanks 
I think that was the last sober photo of me that day.
I think that was the last sober photo of me that day.