Well, good sir, I do have some galfriends who do fire eating. They can't to the dragon's breath like that, but i'm trying to teach them how to do it. They just need practice.
Sorry, you're too old, and much too hairy for jesus juice. How about a gin 'n tonic?
Waxing. Too shy for that myself. I always shave down before Burning Man as it makes daily full-body application of sunscreen and nightly sponge bathing much easier, but that's as far as I'll take it.
****Hint, Hint****
I'd love a Spa Day.
****Hint Hint****