Let me start this off by saying I’ve missed you all so damn much! Going through notifications and seeing so much love again brought tears to my eyes tonight, I’ll forever be grateful for the positivity I’ve had from you guys. 💖
Life has gotten ridiculously overwhelming lately (has been for a longgggg time but I’m finding it increasingly hard to juggle anything right now!)
I’ll post a more detailed blog in the coming days, once I get back from a trip, but wanted to give a short(ish) version for now which might even explain my struggles -
I recently got officially diagnosed with ADHD and ASD. It explains a lot, mostly what I already more recently knew about myself this past 5 years with ADHD at least, but also to have it confirmed after such a fight, after being failed by the NHS, after having to pay so much money I don’t even have, it has been…exhausting to say the least.
There is a huge amount of grief that comes with it, as well as anxiety from trying out new meds (that aren’t working yet, but it’s only the first try on a low dose), but I know that now I have answers, I can try to accept that I’m not lazy, stupid, slow or weird. I’m just different and my brain isn’t neurotypical.
It is in fact neurospicy :)
Jokes aside (although I’ve loved this term for quite some time), coming to terms with it all recently has had so many ups and downs, still lots of negative responses from people who don’t understand that these are disabilities and should be taken seriously, some real great support from friends who had already supported me since finding out a few years back that I’d been struggling (I’m 35 now) and so many damn emotions. So many of them! It’s weird because I’ve known I’ve been different, or struggled more and didn’t always know it was because I was at a bit of a disadvantage and working so much harder to actually become a “gifted” student alongside my twin sister throughout school/education. Even realising it a few years before the diagnosis was a weird thing, but having it officially diagnosed by a medical professional really did trigger a lot of the grief and emotions. Knowing I’d struggled for more than 1/3 of my life without knowing why and almost accepting that maybe I am lazy, incapable, a failure…
But I’m not. And I have answers. I have some positive reassurance. I can work with this now, rather than against it. Or at least I’m trying!
Anyway, in classic ADHD form, I’ve dragged that out more than I should have! Feel free to ask any questions, I’d be happy to answer.
Ps. Did I tell you I’ve missed you all so much already?!
How have you been?
@missy @sean @lemon
