In the end, I believe, evolution / nature / greater force is only part of it, because each of us also has free will. My protective instincts want me to pummel the face of the guy down my street who races his car up and down, with no regard to the little kids present (like my son)....but my free will prevents me from doing it, knowing there will be consequences for my actions.
I believe its the same for infidelity....all of us, even the homliest among us (like myself) could easily go out and get a piece of ass on a given night...but free will is what has you choose "yea" or "nay", and is what causes the guilt, in knowing you could hurt the one you've pledged your monogamy to.
So although it may or may not be part of our nature or biological makeup to make these promises, to a partner, to a culture, to a society.... our free will is what causes the scales to tip in either direction, no?
I love how he didn't answer ANYTHING you asked....
It is a great picture though...
I definitely believe in evolution.. And I also believe in a greater 'force' that that helps to direct the flow of nature. I like that way of describing it too.
I believe in evolution and there's alot of truth in what you say - I wouldn't ever go so far as to ascribe ALL our "adulterous" behavior to forces beyond our control/ken, but it's certainly a driving force.
Maybe it IS the deciding factor and we just rationalize the rest away in our minds so we don't feel to bad about it?
I will say I've never DONE it - well not by Bill Clinton's definition anyway, and even that not until it was pretty clear that marriage = toast
I think we've evolved to the point where our conscious selves will tell us, "hey, that's not really such a good idea." But when it comes to those primitive urges, the innate need to procreate leads our bodies to crave others we find appealing, even though our conscious brain is telling ourselves that procreation isn't really what we want. So it's a back in forth between conscious thought and subconcious urges, and whether we become unfaithful is really up to which side we decide is the strongest....
or something like that...
I don't know when I started doing the Christmas card thing - I guess it's partially because for a lot of people, that's all I can afford to do for the holidays, so it counts as a gift too. If you want a card- send me an email.. Thank you cards are really hard for me though.. Each year I tell myself I'm going to send thank you's and I never manage to do so.
I'm glad you were able to make it to the party.. It was great seeing you again - and you looked absolutely amazing! (Just a side jaunt into a man's realm of visual orientation)
Have a wonderful weekend, a Merry Christmas (if that's your thing) and a very Happy New Year - (if we don't exchange comments before then).
Yikes! As one of the statistics, I'm not even going to comment on that - but i will say this : When it works - it is like having your cake, and eating it too......
Happy holidays to you too! I Love the new profile pic - btw........
My thesis work focuses on infidelity within an evolutionary perspective - i.e. infidelity is a sexual behavior that offers certain reproductive benefits (greater resources, greater access to mates, etc.) and hence is a natural part of our mating repertoire.
I would have to agree on an evolutionary basis, but life is not completely that simple. Nature has powerful tools such as pheromones not to mention natural selection and selective mutation resulting in the male peacock tail. I just think the nature vs. nurture argument is not completely fair. There is no one-way or the other, it is a mixture of the two and it is a dynamic mixture of the two.
From reading your journal, I am going to guess your going for your PsyD?
P.S. I love science and psychology! Please do not take the above as any form of criticism because it was not intended to be in anyway. Was I correct as to your area of study? Moreover, thanks for the comment, I cannot believe someone actually sat down and read my entire run-on rant! Thanks =) Have a great holiday!
on infidelity, i read as much porn as i view. theres a lot of infidelity stories out there, most of it portraying the 'slutwife' side, but theres a lot of them that deal with the humiliation of the cuckold! (essentially, a written dominatrix experience, i guess, since the man in the story is humiliated sexually, by a woman, and by extension, her men. )
theres also an ollld book, the single girls guide to dating or the new york' girls guide or something, (circa late fifties to late sixties)that is a half joking, half not book that deals with dating a married man, and how to get the most out of being the other woman.
ahh subcultures.
but i will say this : When it works - it is like having your cake, and eating it too...... 
the new profile pic - btw........
I believe its the same for infidelity....all of us, even the homliest among us (like myself) could easily go out and get a piece of ass on a given night...but free will is what has you choose "yea" or "nay", and is what causes the guilt, in knowing you could hurt the one you've pledged your monogamy to.
So although it may or may not be part of our nature or biological makeup to make these promises, to a partner, to a culture, to a society.... our free will is what causes the scales to tip in either direction, no?