oracle

so, I'm a bit hesitant to write this journal for a few different reasons but well here it goes anyway.

Lately I have been hanging out with this girl...things are getting intense...it still hasn't gone much past friendship in that we are not bf/gf or anything but I find myself thinking about her all the time...when I am with her I have never felt so happy..Last night we had a couple of drinks and I slept at her house. Nothing happened other then we fell asleep together...I held her in my arms all night and it felt so great, so right. I don't want to get too excited as I am moving very shortly and like I said I have no idea if her feelings for me are mutual...All I know is I am in trouble. I look at her and my heart melts, we talk for hours...real conversations, I held her hand and to feel her hand against mine it was remarkable. I have dated some great girls but for whatever reason (mostly my own problems) things didn't work out, I have always felt that if I didn't see something long term there is no reason to continue just for now...I have also been against marriage. I met a girl a long time ago that I truly loved and could see marriage and the whole thing, when we broke up I was crushed and never found that feeling again, until now I think...(I am not saying I am in love or want to marry her right now) but I am feeling emotions that haven't exsisted for so long. It could be just new relationship jitters, it could be preposting nerves who knows...what I do know is I am very happy...I am happy to think about her, I am happy to have know how she feels in my arms and if we don't date or nothing else develops well for right now I am so very happy and I will always remember yesterday and today forever.