I don't know why I'm awake. Its 10 past 4am. I just finished watching Water Lilies which is a really amazing film. I don't often see films I really feel I can relate with, but I could definitely see a lot of myself, as I was "coming of age" in the main character. It has me remembering the first time I kissed a girl, well.. actually I will skip the details, but I remember the nervousness and crush, and wondering if it was returned, and how the silliest thing actually lead to it, and how.. well.. now I'm totally rambling so I will stop, but it is funny to think. Its also funny to think about how long about the 9th grade was. Jesus.. that was before Jamaica. Shit.. Jamaica was over 10 years ago.. I suppose this May will be 10 years home, and 11 years since it started. I think that place stole a part of me, and I wonder if, when I die, part of me will haunt it. I'm sure a lot of girls and boys feel that way. I remember when I got there, the very moment the driver got us there, just looking through the office door, from the "taxi". From there I could see out a giant window. It looked like a resort. Then I saw a single file line of girls in uniforms en route to who-knows-where. You know at that time I still had no idea of what the next year of my life would be like. It was around that time I was taken into a small room to have the bin my folks sent with me gone through and "cataloged" and if anything needed to be taken away it was. Thats around the time I was talking about how I called my bf from the airport. Little did I know this, unknown to me, forbidden act would land me in OP (observational placement). Next was the strip search that took place in a very small bathroom. However when you're 15 years old and completely naked in front of an examining stranger the walls feel like they are closing in. I made it 2, maybe 3 days before repeatedly bashing my head into a tile wall so I could go to the hospital, where I fought off tranquilizers they shot into me every 45 minutes, for 14 hours. My plan was to call my parents.. afterall.. it must be some mistake.. my parents would never intentionally send me to a place like this. They removed the phones from my room. (turns out they would intentionally send me to a place like that). That whole ordeal lead to yet another naked in front of strangers moment since I wasn't allowed to shower without being supervised. To be quite honest the whole year seems like a dream, and I remember laying in my bunk at night thinking about how "the real world" seemed like a dream, and after a length of time I wasn't sure it even existed, or that it ever had, but I thought about how if I made it out alive.. one day this would seem like a dream. I made it out alive. It seems like a dream now. Tranquility Bay.
whos watching the kids
the case against Tranquility Bay
No More Nightmares at Tranquility Bay
whos watching the kids
the case against Tranquility Bay
No More Nightmares at Tranquility Bay
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
I'm glad you got through it all ok.
i don't have much time these days, but i think of you constantly and feel good knowing you are happy.
love.