The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.
A little fodder to laugh at me about. Or something like that. I've got knives in my eyes right now. Bedways is rightways.
1 Names:
Ive been told, through a confidential source in my subconscious, that my name is Atom the Spider. But reality likes to call me Jordan
2 - Pseudo(s)?
J, Eurotrash, the Creeper, Harry Potter; all lovingly given to me by my friends, the fuckers.
3 - Size?
58 apparently (somewhere I grew an inch between high school and now) and Im not going to say my weight because its embarrassingly high at the moment. Tis what I get for not working out like I normally did. Then again, my body structure is all fuckered; put the muscle build of a 6 man on a lean 58 frame (i.e. combine my dad and granddad) and you have a guy who looks a bit slight but has a barrel chest. Go figure.
4 - Age?
Magic number for me: 28.
5 - Colour of hair?
Dark, almost black, brown hair. Its thick and grows like weeds. I have to keep a four-week hair schedule or else it gets so long I look like the guitarist for a garage band. Once I tried to bleach it blond, but the closest I got was orange. Oh but the gay guys loved it.
6- Colour of the eyes?
When Im not glaring at you, you can see the brown in my eyes. Otherwise, run.
7 - Employment / current occupation?
Im the primary jeweler for my dads store, all six years of experience that I have actually jockeying a torch. But Ill always be a student, an academic. I needs me some more class time again. That PhD wont just fall in my lap.
8- Astrological and Chinese sign: Very Scorpio Monkey, whether by nature or nurture or both. Two stubborn as mules parents, a wit so dry I make deserts jealous, a deep glossy red mental interior, frisky or feisty, family and friends always come first, Ill cut you if you do me or a friend wrong, fake alpha males fall before me like courtiers, and I seem to find myself the shrink of my galaxy constantly. Oh, and Im usually right.
9 - I like/love? Great music, the right drink for the right room, cultural history, philosophy of all sorts, technology that works, great comics and books, headphones, meeting friends for whatever, giving random gifts, making jewelry, writing something even I think is good, working on my car, watches.
10 - I don't like? Cheapskates, fakers, people talking out of their ass (thats my job and I do it better than you), people who assume they know my job better than I do, drivers who cant take corners, passengers who cant take my driving, closed minds. Spiders.
11 - What do you like to do, generally, during the weekend? At least one night out and about, at least one night in and settled.
12 - The town/country that you want to visit or even live in? Matera Italy. If you have to ask you aint ever gonna understand.
13 - The first thing you do when you come back from work? Say hi to my cat, rummage through my blog reader, write some emails, then nap.
14- Style of music or radio that you prefer? Ill tell you right after I finish nailing this jello to the wall.
15 - The singer or band that you prefer? Still working on that jello.
16 - The reality TV show that you prefer? Mythbusters, Top Gear
17 - The magazine that you never miss? As of now, Wired
18 - Your book on bedside? Comics I havent read yet, books Im reading or are about to read. Too many titles on all accounts.
19 - The novel of which you would have liked to be the author? Invisible Cities
20 - The dish you prefer? Salmon steaks from Cremonas. God Bless Italian families who show you what real Italian food tastes like.
21 - What is the first thing you buy when you go to the fair and are hungry? Corn dog, funnel cake. Christ I need to go to the fair this year.
22 - Drink preferred?
Alcoholic: Scotch please
Non-alcoholic: Dublin Dr. Pepper
23 - Color preferred? Greys, blacks, dark browns, vibrant reds.
24 - Fave Number? 3, 7, 28
25 - The quotation which you prefer? The one on my back: Follow Your Bliss; and the one to be on my back: It Must Be. If you can figure out where those two come from you win a no-prize.
26 - Your most beautiful quality? I dont have beautiful qualities. I just am.
27 - Your worst quality? Completely unjustified elitism, and I love it.
28 - Your worst fear? Sinking ships? I dont know; Im more afraid of the future unknowns I cant prepare for. I already live the other one.
29 - The first thing you do in the morning? Sit in the dark, sipping my coffee and dragging on a cigarette, filing away bits of dreams.
30 - Your bedroom takes fire (or is flooded, it depends of the place), what do you rescue at first?
Cat, cause Marie would haunt me from her little kitty grave for the rest of my life if I didnt.
31. What do you have on the walls of your bedroom? Depends on who deserves being duct taped to it. Wait, thats their bedroom wall, not mine.
32. - Which is the cartoon you preferred child? I think the regular fare, really cant remember.
33 - And now? Venture Bros., good cyber/steampunk anime,
34 What was your childhood dream job? Astronaut or detective. I really wasnt given much direction as a kid.
35 - The insult, which do you use the most? Fucking useless.
36 - Do you speak any other languages? English and bad English.
37 - If one day you became super famous which field would you want it in? 5-D Neuro-physics.
38 - How many children do you want? 3, a boy and two girls, preferably with the girls bookending things.
39 - What can you find under your bed? Oh what cant you find is the real question.
40 - The best gift someone gave to you? The gift of hip-hop.
41 - The worst gift somebody has given you? Yeah, that box with the hissing sounds coming from it. SNAKES ARE NOT GIFTS!
42 - Apple Juice or Orange Juice? Both, and throw some vodka in there as well.
43 - Are you a morning or night person? This wordmorningwhat is it you speak of?
44 - Have any bad habits? Nope, more perfect than Jesus and the Buddha combined.
45 - Are you more of a clean person or messy person? Clean, except I still havent gotten the hang of putting away all my clothing yet. This is why I learned how to do my own laundry and ironing at age 9. Mom wasnt going to do the work if it was going to go to waste.
46 - One thing people might not know about you? I can exist solely on my ego if necessary.
THIS YEAR (2009) HAVE YOU:
47 - Made new friends- Yes
48 - Fallen out of love No, that would require having...oh whats the wordemotions, yeah thats it.
49 - Laughed until you cried Not yet, but the night is young
50 - Met someone who changed you- In an altering of perceptions way? No. In a way that makes me happier? Yes.
51 - Found out who your true friends were Already found them
52 - Found out someone was talking about you No, and if they even dream something bad about me they better call me the next morning and apologize.
53 - Kissed anyone on your friend's list Umwell you see...what had hapno wait, come back here!
54 - How many people on your friends list do you know in real life Whole milk please
55 - What time did you wake up today not early enough
56 - What were you doing at midnight last night wondering what the hell Bart Allen was doing back as Kid Flash. Anyone care to explain?
57 - Name something you CANNOT wait for Finishing this fucking estate appraisal so I can ram my billable hours right up the familys ass. Their parents didnt want them to have the jewelry so Im going to make them pay a princely sum for it.
58 - Last time you saw your father this morning
59 - What is one thing you wish you could change about your life Oh I regret a lot of things, but I wouldnt change that for the world.
60 - What are you listening to right now Bits of a new mix. Last three songs: Franz Ferdinand No You Girls, Fatal Flying Guilloteens Tiger vs. Gator, Duchess Says Melon.
61 - What's getting on your nerves right now Marie wants to play fetch.
62 - Piercings are a great style of jewelry design
63 - Tattoos I wants more
64 - Righty or lefty Left-handed, of course. Im evil.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
65 - Lips or eyes Eyes, always with the damn eyes. You try resisting a pair of sexy eyes. See! What did I just tell you? No one ever listens to me.
66 - Hugs or kisses I like sneaking up from behind and giving a restful hug. Kissing comes later.
67 - Shorter or taller shorter, but not significantly so.
68 - Older or Younger- I have no qualms dating older women, but I prefer a woman emotionally on par with me, so younger it is.
69 - Romantic or spontaneous Out of left field at superluminal speeds.
70 - Nice stomach or nice arms- Stomach, and get my mind out of the gutter.
71 - Tattoos or piercings Neither, either, both. Im flexible.
72 - Hook-up or relationship I was built for relationships out of bits and pieces of great husbands of the past. I was also built to enslave the human race and rotate your tires at the same time.
A little fodder to laugh at me about. Or something like that. I've got knives in my eyes right now. Bedways is rightways.
1 Names:
Ive been told, through a confidential source in my subconscious, that my name is Atom the Spider. But reality likes to call me Jordan
2 - Pseudo(s)?
J, Eurotrash, the Creeper, Harry Potter; all lovingly given to me by my friends, the fuckers.
3 - Size?
58 apparently (somewhere I grew an inch between high school and now) and Im not going to say my weight because its embarrassingly high at the moment. Tis what I get for not working out like I normally did. Then again, my body structure is all fuckered; put the muscle build of a 6 man on a lean 58 frame (i.e. combine my dad and granddad) and you have a guy who looks a bit slight but has a barrel chest. Go figure.
4 - Age?
Magic number for me: 28.
5 - Colour of hair?
Dark, almost black, brown hair. Its thick and grows like weeds. I have to keep a four-week hair schedule or else it gets so long I look like the guitarist for a garage band. Once I tried to bleach it blond, but the closest I got was orange. Oh but the gay guys loved it.
6- Colour of the eyes?
When Im not glaring at you, you can see the brown in my eyes. Otherwise, run.
7 - Employment / current occupation?
Im the primary jeweler for my dads store, all six years of experience that I have actually jockeying a torch. But Ill always be a student, an academic. I needs me some more class time again. That PhD wont just fall in my lap.
8- Astrological and Chinese sign: Very Scorpio Monkey, whether by nature or nurture or both. Two stubborn as mules parents, a wit so dry I make deserts jealous, a deep glossy red mental interior, frisky or feisty, family and friends always come first, Ill cut you if you do me or a friend wrong, fake alpha males fall before me like courtiers, and I seem to find myself the shrink of my galaxy constantly. Oh, and Im usually right.
9 - I like/love? Great music, the right drink for the right room, cultural history, philosophy of all sorts, technology that works, great comics and books, headphones, meeting friends for whatever, giving random gifts, making jewelry, writing something even I think is good, working on my car, watches.
10 - I don't like? Cheapskates, fakers, people talking out of their ass (thats my job and I do it better than you), people who assume they know my job better than I do, drivers who cant take corners, passengers who cant take my driving, closed minds. Spiders.
11 - What do you like to do, generally, during the weekend? At least one night out and about, at least one night in and settled.
12 - The town/country that you want to visit or even live in? Matera Italy. If you have to ask you aint ever gonna understand.
13 - The first thing you do when you come back from work? Say hi to my cat, rummage through my blog reader, write some emails, then nap.
14- Style of music or radio that you prefer? Ill tell you right after I finish nailing this jello to the wall.
15 - The singer or band that you prefer? Still working on that jello.
16 - The reality TV show that you prefer? Mythbusters, Top Gear
17 - The magazine that you never miss? As of now, Wired
18 - Your book on bedside? Comics I havent read yet, books Im reading or are about to read. Too many titles on all accounts.
19 - The novel of which you would have liked to be the author? Invisible Cities
20 - The dish you prefer? Salmon steaks from Cremonas. God Bless Italian families who show you what real Italian food tastes like.
21 - What is the first thing you buy when you go to the fair and are hungry? Corn dog, funnel cake. Christ I need to go to the fair this year.
22 - Drink preferred?
Alcoholic: Scotch please
Non-alcoholic: Dublin Dr. Pepper
23 - Color preferred? Greys, blacks, dark browns, vibrant reds.
24 - Fave Number? 3, 7, 28
25 - The quotation which you prefer? The one on my back: Follow Your Bliss; and the one to be on my back: It Must Be. If you can figure out where those two come from you win a no-prize.
26 - Your most beautiful quality? I dont have beautiful qualities. I just am.
27 - Your worst quality? Completely unjustified elitism, and I love it.
28 - Your worst fear? Sinking ships? I dont know; Im more afraid of the future unknowns I cant prepare for. I already live the other one.
29 - The first thing you do in the morning? Sit in the dark, sipping my coffee and dragging on a cigarette, filing away bits of dreams.
30 - Your bedroom takes fire (or is flooded, it depends of the place), what do you rescue at first?
Cat, cause Marie would haunt me from her little kitty grave for the rest of my life if I didnt.
31. What do you have on the walls of your bedroom? Depends on who deserves being duct taped to it. Wait, thats their bedroom wall, not mine.
32. - Which is the cartoon you preferred child? I think the regular fare, really cant remember.
33 - And now? Venture Bros., good cyber/steampunk anime,
34 What was your childhood dream job? Astronaut or detective. I really wasnt given much direction as a kid.
35 - The insult, which do you use the most? Fucking useless.
36 - Do you speak any other languages? English and bad English.
37 - If one day you became super famous which field would you want it in? 5-D Neuro-physics.
38 - How many children do you want? 3, a boy and two girls, preferably with the girls bookending things.
39 - What can you find under your bed? Oh what cant you find is the real question.
40 - The best gift someone gave to you? The gift of hip-hop.
41 - The worst gift somebody has given you? Yeah, that box with the hissing sounds coming from it. SNAKES ARE NOT GIFTS!
42 - Apple Juice or Orange Juice? Both, and throw some vodka in there as well.
43 - Are you a morning or night person? This wordmorningwhat is it you speak of?
44 - Have any bad habits? Nope, more perfect than Jesus and the Buddha combined.
45 - Are you more of a clean person or messy person? Clean, except I still havent gotten the hang of putting away all my clothing yet. This is why I learned how to do my own laundry and ironing at age 9. Mom wasnt going to do the work if it was going to go to waste.
46 - One thing people might not know about you? I can exist solely on my ego if necessary.
THIS YEAR (2009) HAVE YOU:
47 - Made new friends- Yes
48 - Fallen out of love No, that would require having...oh whats the wordemotions, yeah thats it.
49 - Laughed until you cried Not yet, but the night is young
50 - Met someone who changed you- In an altering of perceptions way? No. In a way that makes me happier? Yes.
51 - Found out who your true friends were Already found them
52 - Found out someone was talking about you No, and if they even dream something bad about me they better call me the next morning and apologize.
53 - Kissed anyone on your friend's list Umwell you see...what had hapno wait, come back here!
54 - How many people on your friends list do you know in real life Whole milk please
55 - What time did you wake up today not early enough
56 - What were you doing at midnight last night wondering what the hell Bart Allen was doing back as Kid Flash. Anyone care to explain?
57 - Name something you CANNOT wait for Finishing this fucking estate appraisal so I can ram my billable hours right up the familys ass. Their parents didnt want them to have the jewelry so Im going to make them pay a princely sum for it.
58 - Last time you saw your father this morning
59 - What is one thing you wish you could change about your life Oh I regret a lot of things, but I wouldnt change that for the world.
60 - What are you listening to right now Bits of a new mix. Last three songs: Franz Ferdinand No You Girls, Fatal Flying Guilloteens Tiger vs. Gator, Duchess Says Melon.
61 - What's getting on your nerves right now Marie wants to play fetch.
62 - Piercings are a great style of jewelry design
63 - Tattoos I wants more
64 - Righty or lefty Left-handed, of course. Im evil.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
65 - Lips or eyes Eyes, always with the damn eyes. You try resisting a pair of sexy eyes. See! What did I just tell you? No one ever listens to me.
66 - Hugs or kisses I like sneaking up from behind and giving a restful hug. Kissing comes later.
67 - Shorter or taller shorter, but not significantly so.
68 - Older or Younger- I have no qualms dating older women, but I prefer a woman emotionally on par with me, so younger it is.
69 - Romantic or spontaneous Out of left field at superluminal speeds.
70 - Nice stomach or nice arms- Stomach, and get my mind out of the gutter.
71 - Tattoos or piercings Neither, either, both. Im flexible.
72 - Hook-up or relationship I was built for relationships out of bits and pieces of great husbands of the past. I was also built to enslave the human race and rotate your tires at the same time.