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novocainesmile

Hartlepool, UNITED KINGDOM

Member Since 2006

Followers 82 Following 93

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Saturday Mar 10, 2007

Mar 9, 2007
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A couple of weeks has passed since my last blog, Things are getting slightly surreal around here, First off let me tell you all, I have:
A) Given up smoking
B) Given up Drinking
C) Decided to become celibate for a while

Now your probably thinking ok quitting drinking and smoking is ok! but Celibacy? Well the reason I have chosen not to pursue the fairer sex is that I am tired of going to clubs in the hope I shall meet miss right. I am bored of the chase and to be honest was not getting much attention anyway......until now! Now I have a couple of girls tell me they like me yadda yadda yadda but I told em, I'm sorry hun but i'm celibate. My friend thinks I'm in denial about my sexuality!! I will agree that I have Bi-sexual tendencies and have been known to kiss the odd guy or two but does that make me homosexual?

My head and heart are at war over my Ex (my sons mother) She has left her Abusive, Psychopathic, Boyfriend, After he attacked her again so now I'm like, 'What if she wants to get back with me!' 'Will she have changed?' whilst my head says " Dude you lost nearly 2 stones in weight when she dumped you for that guy c'mon give yourself a break its been two years why would she even consider coming back to you' with which my heart replies ' Hey Asshole this guy just wants a loving 'normal' family, something he never had as a child!!'
You can understand my concerns.

I'm having a wierd time with my friends too, there is a lot of tension between us. Its like they are slowly phasing me out of there lives for some reason.
I went to see a UKHC band last night and it was strange it was as if everyone was afraid to talk to me. I kept trying to instigate conversation but I dunno it was just really freaky, I ended up getting the last bus home and missed the Headling band because they were running late. Still I got a shirt to make up for it.

I didnt drink at all and came home ate some food and watched Apocalypto (great movie)

I still woke up with a headache......Go Figure!!!

Well I had best go and finish this Rant!!

hope everyone is happy!! wink
dollface_killah:
I did the celebicy thing for a while. It will do you good with so much chaos in your life. I ended up being more aware of who I let into my personal space. Decisions become more thought over. It eventually gives you the freedom to pick and choose who you want to be with. You dont feel like you need to fill that need for attachment. A really good friend once told me that "Suffering comes from attachment". If you think about it, it's totally true. In the end....I met the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have never been this happy. Stay committed to your personal control. It sucks at first, but its good for the soul.
oxox
Mar 10, 2007

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