Those of you who have been reading my journal for awhile will maybe remember that I witnessed a stabbing about five months ago. I ignored the first subpoena and finally sent in the second after they called to remind me that I had to send it in.....anyway, I got the day off of work tomorrow so I could go to court for it. Well, I talked to the court today and apparently the kid plead out and there is no court date now. So, no witnessing for Dave. I'm kinda glad because I didn't feel like going and dealing with this shit, but I'm upset because I now have the whole day off and I can't really afford to not work.
Tonight should be fun. The plan is to go bowling with the staff from the bar across the street. It's going to be most of the staff and then a few of the regulars. It should be a good time. I just hope I don't bowl like shit.
Now comes the boring, outpouring of my heart....skip it if ya want
I think I have finally nailed down what it is that's been bothering me lately. I'm in a transition phase and I'm feeling pretty fucking worthless. I'm not a kid anymore...I have a college degree, I'm 27, I live on my own and support myself. At the same time, I'm hardly an adult...I can barely pay my bills and I'm ridiculously in debt. I got looking at Grad school and I just don't know if I am ready for it. I don't know if I can get in for one thing and then I don't know if I could make it once I did get in. I look at the requirements and I think of the ten years or so it took me to finish my undergrad because of my unwillingness and stubborness when it comes to jumping through hoops. I don't know if I can do that for two more years till I get my masters and another couple to get my phd. Then I worry that I will get all finished, get a job teaching and absolutely hate it or maybe I won't ever find a teaching job. Basically, I am just getting down because I'm real fucking worried about my future and I don't know what to do about it. There's tons more going on than that, but I've babbled enough for one day....
Tonight should be fun. The plan is to go bowling with the staff from the bar across the street. It's going to be most of the staff and then a few of the regulars. It should be a good time. I just hope I don't bowl like shit.
Now comes the boring, outpouring of my heart....skip it if ya want
I think I have finally nailed down what it is that's been bothering me lately. I'm in a transition phase and I'm feeling pretty fucking worthless. I'm not a kid anymore...I have a college degree, I'm 27, I live on my own and support myself. At the same time, I'm hardly an adult...I can barely pay my bills and I'm ridiculously in debt. I got looking at Grad school and I just don't know if I am ready for it. I don't know if I can get in for one thing and then I don't know if I could make it once I did get in. I look at the requirements and I think of the ten years or so it took me to finish my undergrad because of my unwillingness and stubborness when it comes to jumping through hoops. I don't know if I can do that for two more years till I get my masters and another couple to get my phd. Then I worry that I will get all finished, get a job teaching and absolutely hate it or maybe I won't ever find a teaching job. Basically, I am just getting down because I'm real fucking worried about my future and I don't know what to do about it. There's tons more going on than that, but I've babbled enough for one day....
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
I know all about the transitional thang ... my heart goes out to you.
Personally, I worked for 5 years before going back to grad school. Got out of debt, learned a lot about what matters and what doesn't in my field, and was MUCH better prepared for grad school when I did go back.
My $0.02, for what it costs you...
And... good luck.