neuroticanne

Last night I found myself discussing piercings with a elderly woman that lives down the hall from me. I will share some of our conversation here...
Her: Please don't tell me you're one of those young fools that runs around painting their body ridiculous and putting all of that metal in places that metal has no business being..
NA: Well, actually-
Her: (interupting) You know baby girl, there is a man who stands at the gates of heaven and wipes away all that tattooing nonsense and takes all of that metal off your poor body and he sends angels over to makes crosses out of all it and sends you down to hell where the devil himself burns you with them crosses. See honey, you don't need to damn yourself with a one way ticket to eternity in hell!
Me: (giggling) You can't be serious. Have you been drinking, Kat?
Her: My late brother was a pastor in our church for 20 years and I know the word of god.
Me: Kat, you have your ears pierced...
Kat: Well, I plan on taking them out before I die.
Me: (laughing my ass off) So do I....

Then I got a short lecture on respecting "older folk" and she thanked me for the leftovers I brought her