naja_haje

I experienced an interruption in my internet service last week. Letting a few days pass I then sent dispatch to the Comcastinistas to alert them of their folly. Poor bastards, apparently Comcastinople exists within a primitive linear time continuum. FOOLS. Can't they see the future that exists past the quivering platinum CGI time portal? The one in which rollerskating leprechauns gloryhole rainbows of cash and fistfuck my direct deposit account? (Later that evening in the future I am also invited to play a game with the solid gold dancers in which I spank their asses to see whose can hold my hand print the longest. I know, its gonna be so sweet!) Or even further into the future when they are bracing their decrepit hip bone with their one good arm while reaching out a shaky prosthetic claw to remove a yellowed leprous toe nail and then violently catapulting their foreheads against the porcelain toilet basin (with a squishy *thwop* like drop kicking a rotten pumpkin) after their right knee shatters from slipping in their own incontinence?

Don't they see that we all eventually die and that the pursuit and exchange of symbolic and material goods will never do anything to prevent this?





DON'T PANIC, all is well! and exhale. I forgave them their errors and (relieved) they credited fifty dollars to my account all the while begging for a swift and merciful death. I then took pity and bestowed my commiseration on their accursed souls for their ignorance was no fault of their own. Cohabiting eternity from within the leathery wombs of their slave masters, having to gnaw on ethernet cables and cook rubber band soup for sustenance; that would break any soul.

I too have once struggled to free myself from the bondage of my reptilian overlords....






MORALE: I love each and every one of you little mongrels but I may not be around much this summer, so pardon my lack of updates.