naja_haje

I witnessed a jelly-off saturday night, lewd and lascivious. Trampoline plus alcohol plus sexual tension equals cage match, it's a fact. Tired of the backflippers and the double bouncers a Andrew W K lookalike finally lumbered up into the cage. The spry backflipper took Andrew's wife beater and wrapped it over his head with jack rabbit leap and the crowd erupted in cheers. Andrew don't need no shirt though because he knew the backflipper feared skin contact, he was determined to gross his opponent out of the ring. Snap, the backflipper double-bounced his ass and had Andrew buns up plus spankings. OWNED! Andrew took in the crowds jeers and then whipped his balls over the top of his jeans, this is the 'over the top flop' for all you non-wrestling fans. The animal kingdom equivalent would be a cross between a sea cucumber regurgitation and a baboon scat attack. PERV! and BOOM, backflipper sent him into the netting with a flying shoulder. His weight trapped him in the netting underneath the trampoline and sent the whole thing sideways. No one kicked him out after that either.

His friend told us later that he drank beer that had been poured over his balls as if this feat of homo-fraternism would impress us, or at least the girl that was with us. He also told us that Andrew had fucked a bag lady a few nights prior, a heinous bag lady, as if that needed clarification.

yeah. . .

I have a lead on a house to move into this summer. I can't wait to set up my own studio and have a yard and crank my stereo... But the landlord is batshit. How crazy? He has a dead squirrel that he calls his 'nutty buddy' in his bushes that he picked up and started petting in front of the last tenant. He had told us that he and his brother were going to work on the house before they were ready for new tenants. A week later he told us his brother lives in France and he doesn't know where he is. Great.

uhm. . .