mykel

I think I will always be a kid.
I was listening to "The End of the Innocence" by Don Henley on the radio today. This song always makes me cry.
My brain works in very strange ways sometimes, and I think I have a hard time with people because of it. I've always been that weird girl nobody likes. I'm awkward, introspective, quiet, and a bad dresser. I'm also a little self-centered.
If anybody takes astrology seriously, I know that several major aspects of my birth chart are all on cusps. I think all these crazy planets pull me in all directions at once, trying to tear me apart. This may be why I'm always scattered and moody.
Also, I've always had this impression that I'm a "young soul." You know how people will describe someone as having an "old soul?" Well, I think mine is brand new. Maybe I've lived once before, and it was traumatic. So, during this life I'm fearful, naive, childish. I don't think I'll ever truly be a grown-up, and that's not really something I want anyway.
I always wonder why I'm so crazy, and these are the kinds of things I come up with. I make myself suffer, and want to know why.





I feel very calm right now. I have this soft smile on my face that refuses to disappear. I want to hold on to this feeling, carry it in my heart forever. I feel like I've learned something, and grown, blooming like the newly blossomed trees.