you cant fill your cup until you empty all it has
you cant understand what lays ahead
if you dont understand the past
youll never learn to fly now
til youre standing at the cliff
and you cant truly love until youve given up on it
I think this past week has been a huge test for me and has opened up a new perspective on things for me. I took a huge hit on my ego, I thought love was my motivation for a relationship I was feeling hurt about, but I know now I couldn't love her, I just wanted to be loved by her. I was blinded by what I thought was a deep bond and ignored the facts that she not what I will ever want in a girlfriend. I truly have given up on love. I don't think I am actually capable of it. Which is weird since I know I'm compassionate, but it's more on a global level than loving one person.
I did learn that I have a great friend though in someone else that I never expected. We kinda talked from time to time at school, but not till this summer break did we actually start to hang out and talk more. I really appreciate a friend like her. There is no hidden agenda, no games, we can just talk and hang out with no BS. She has a BF though and although I don't think of her in a romantic way, I know how BF's can view guy friends. I haven't met him yet though, so hopefully we can meet and he'll see I'm just a friend.
Ontario Place is open this weekend. Too bad it is a rainy miserable weekend though. Hopefully I won't be standing in the rain all day, looking forward to some indoor patrols, haha.
you cant understand what lays ahead
if you dont understand the past
youll never learn to fly now
til youre standing at the cliff
and you cant truly love until youve given up on it
I think this past week has been a huge test for me and has opened up a new perspective on things for me. I took a huge hit on my ego, I thought love was my motivation for a relationship I was feeling hurt about, but I know now I couldn't love her, I just wanted to be loved by her. I was blinded by what I thought was a deep bond and ignored the facts that she not what I will ever want in a girlfriend. I truly have given up on love. I don't think I am actually capable of it. Which is weird since I know I'm compassionate, but it's more on a global level than loving one person.
I did learn that I have a great friend though in someone else that I never expected. We kinda talked from time to time at school, but not till this summer break did we actually start to hang out and talk more. I really appreciate a friend like her. There is no hidden agenda, no games, we can just talk and hang out with no BS. She has a BF though and although I don't think of her in a romantic way, I know how BF's can view guy friends. I haven't met him yet though, so hopefully we can meet and he'll see I'm just a friend.
Ontario Place is open this weekend. Too bad it is a rainy miserable weekend though. Hopefully I won't be standing in the rain all day, looking forward to some indoor patrols, haha.